Taking cabaret to the vaudevillian perverse, Joe Black sing songs of the wicked dressed in the veil of the already less-then-respectable music hall tradition. Beyond bawdy, some may even label it obscene – sounds good to me! From a hole in the understair cabinet, we observe the boy himself failing to show any respect to his venerable headmaster…
Dressed still in the cabaret paint and shabby frock coat of performance, young Joe Black is led by Ms Mimms the school secretary into the presence of the headmaster of his exclusive boys boarding school. The office is dressed in dark gothic mahogany, and proceedings deliberately set up to be intimidating, as the headmaster, himself a notorious old queen of the most brutal variety, looms over…
Now then boy! What the hell do you think you’ve been doing?
I've been learning lots of rude singsongs to sing with the boys, sir...
How utterly foul. I long since suspected this of you… Now answer me this – at what point did you think it was acceptable to kick little George from the nursery down the stairs?
Well… he had it coming to him! Smug little shit.
Silence! We’ll have no potty-mouth in this room! There’s a rumour you’re a Rapist, a Stalker, a Flasher and a Nightwalker – is this true Joseph?
I'd say about 50/50 really. Though not entirely sure which half…
Worse and worse… Some of the, shall we say, less savoury members of staff have reported seeing you ‘perform’ at some rather sordid nightclubs and events. What exactly is it that you do in these places?
I play music hall for the estranged, sir. It’s all very good wholesome fun… except when its not. Then it's filthy, demented and eternally wrong.
The subject matter of your so-called ‘performances’ can be described as lewd at best… where has a boy of your tender years learned of such things?
The telly-box sir!
Ms Mimms tells me you will be performing at something called ‘Club Antichrist’ on December 30th. As this is in the hols, there’s nothing I can do to stop you, but what exactly is it you plan to do there?
I plan to bring a bundle of dark cabaret joy to the masses. Sing-a-longs, shout-a-longs, and a handful of twisted ballads for good measure.
Hmm, in the interests of preserving the good name of the school, I think I may need to attend to supervise. I could wear my new rubber trousers and break out my best cane.
Sounds like a splendid idea. How about a nice hat, too?
You know, I think I’m starting to warm to you young Joseph. Now, trousers down, bend over, and prepare for a good thrashing!
Joe Black performs at Club AntiChrist’s ‘Not New Year’s Eve’ party on December 30th. Find out more about the filthy young scoundrel at: http://www.misterjoeblack.com/
