Being mostly middle class, white and unable to claim the minority status or violent history of other subcultures, Goths, says Dave Darcy, are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to defending their lifestyle choices.
The one thing that sets Goth apart from other cultural movements, is that its members strive relentlessly to deny their membership.
From the earliest Goth bands, through Gothic writers, to the average Goth in the street, relentless denial is paramount. For the bands' denial, David Bowie can by and large be blamed. Seminal Goth bands like Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, Southern Death Cult were bred on the music of Bowie, while at the same time seeing cults such as punk and the new romantics, come and go quickly. Bowie, by contrast, was a chameleon who was constantly reinventing himself. Playing it smart, therefore, the Goth bands developed a paranoia about dating themselves through an affiliation to Goth. In the way that life works, they got bitten in the ass by the longevity of the cult they denied. Obvious really. After all, the undead do live forever.
Your average Goth has always had a hard time. Of all 20th / 21st century youth cults, they are the easiest to poke fun at, being essentially middle class and white, they can't shout prejudice. Being withdrawn, often overweight, and frequently social outcasts, they do not easily form groups, and of course, unlike `bikers, teddy boys, and
hip hop kids, they have absolutely no history of aggression or violence (unless it is self-inflicted). Some clever Goths have tried to re-name themselves `alternative', `black metal', `cyber industrial', `vampiric', et al, but there are many more traditional cries of denial. Here are 20 classics;
1. I'm not a Goth! I just like black clothes.
2. I'm not a Goth! I was born looking like this.
3. I'm not a Goth! I just like the music.
4. I'm not a Goth! I just prefer to drink red wine in pubs.
5. I'm not a Goth! I just like men's Victorian formal wear.
6. I'm not a Goth! I'm just visiting my grandmother's grave.
7. I'm not a Goth! My parents named me Carmilla / Draculina / Lilith / Elvira.
8. I'm not a Goth! I'm bipolar.
9. I'm not a Goth! I'm just naturally introspective.
10. I'm not a Goth! I'm just fat.
11. I'm not a Goth! I'm anaemic.
12. I'm not a Goth! I'm going to a fancy dress party.
13. I'm not a Goth! I'm an undertaker.
14. I'm not a Goth! I'm a Satanist.
15. I'm not a Goth! I'm an Industrialist.
16. I'm not a Goth! But I used to be.
17. I'm not a Goth! But my boyfriend / girlfriend is.
18. I'm not a Goth! I'm a Vampyre.
19. I'm not a Goth! I have to look like this for work.
20. I'm not a Goth! I'm dead.
"As I was walking up the stairs, I saw a Goth who wasn't there. He
wasn't there again today, I wish that Goth would go away".
