Sinzine

Much more than an excellent alt. music, arts and lifestyle read, Devolution magazine has, in its 8 year evolution from photocopied zine to respected glossy, inspired something of cult.  To a great degree, that's down to the passion and personal touch of editor Nickie Hobbs, who in her own words doesn't put in a 70+ hour week for the financial rewards, so when she found the mag's future in question recently there was a lot more than a job at stake.  SinZine speaks to Nickie about the reader-instigated 'Save Devolution' campaign - and urges you to get involved, and support truly independent and alternative media at its best.



Now, I know you clicked here to read about Devolution magazine and its esteemed editor Nickie Hobbs, and so worry I'll come across a touch self-indulgent when I begin with the personal.  However, my own experience of editing a fanzine - the long-running 'Bubblegum Slut', which was laid to rest this summer after more than 10 years in print - has led me to feel that with self-publishing it is always personal.  

Devolution, Nickie's paper 'n' ink baby, has to my mind always perfectly encapsulated this greatest virtue of the underground press throughout its own 8 years and counting.   From Issue 1 the lady's big personality and passion for her subjects has leapt from every page.  Her dedication to giving every reader her time and personal attention has helped Devolution to amass an army of supporters, who in turn happily devote hours to promoting the mag.  And, as Devolution's readership has grown and its name gained recognition, she has shown an inspiring allegiance to those original small-press aims of exposing new talent over the big names which Devo is now quite capable of attracting.  

For a long time, Devolution and Bubblegum Slut developed side-by-side, and a flick through either publications' back issues will prove we regularly reviewed each others' work for years.  Around the often punishing schedule which balancing zine editing and being able to pay the rent can inflict, Nickie and I would always manage a couple in-person catch-ups a year, at festivals or the ever expanding Devolution Xmas event, and for me at least these came as a rare opportunity to chew over those 'problems only zine editors have' with someone who, not only never looked bored to tears, but who saw eye-to-eye on many points.   To a great degree, the following interview reads much like one of those conversations comparing editorial experience.  It captures why Nickie does what she does so well, and describes the wonderful rewards which do come for all those mind numbing hours spent transcribing interviews and mailing out mags.  But with Devolution having hit hard times recently when Nickie's personal life was turned upside down, this interview also reminds me that, when you invest so much of yourself into a project, the problems it hits become personal and whatever happens at home inevitably affects your passion.  

This was among the reasons which led me to stop publishing 'Bubblegum Slut', and so Nickie's perseverance now gives me all the more reason to admire her work.  That admiration is evidently shared by the 500 odd folks actively supporting the 'Save Devolution Magazine' Facebook campaign, which set up within days of Nickie making it public knowledge that the magazine's future was threatened.  The offers of help which have poured in, financial and otherwise, show strongly the level of love and loyalty which Nickie's work on Devolution has inspired.  At this pivotal point in the mag's development, I asked my good friend and the lady behind it all about her story so far and where she goes from here.




The obvious point to start at is with the story of how you got into this game!  Did the inspiration for Devolution come from finding the zine scene and simply falling for the idea of self-publishing?  Or, Devo being a mag which has so effectively carved out its own niche, I wonder if the starting point was quite the opposite, and it was a lack of what you wanted to read which you led you to thinking ‘if you want something doing….'?

It was definitely us deciding that there was a market gap. There was a magazine that catered solely for music or for fashion or for lifestyle and with the demise of Meltdown magazine which was aimed at the gothic audience there wasn’t anyone around at the time doing the obvious and amalgamating the lot into one whole resource, Devolution bridged the gap and fused punk, rock, metal, thrash and gothic music with burlesque, tattoos, fashion, lifestyle, modelling, photography and genuine alternative people who wanted to be involved in a special project that could be shared and loved around the world. The idea was quickly transformed from theory to practical and the rest truly is history.

At the point you published your first issue, did you see Devo becoming something that you would eventually give up the day job for, and come to live and breathe to the degree you do now?  Or did the all-consuming nature of zine-editing kinda creep up on you too?!

The first issue of Devolution was a colour photocopy and staple together affair! Some people are very proud to have owned a copy of that makeshift first edition and I love being able to say that that was how it started. It truly had an air of 100% DIY. Our 3rd issue was the first glossy printed affair and was received highly by readers who were all looking for that unique blend of music, fashion, features, competitions and articles on alternative lifestyle matters. I had no idea that Devolution would be such a well-received publication but it certainly grew fast and strong and without the corny ‘if it wasn’t for the fans we wouldn’t exist’ line we really wouldn’t…simple as! The support, understanding contributions and readers are what kept us striving for a bigger better and more versatile magazine. Devolution was born in 2003 but even by the end of that year it had carved a name and niche for itself and our family was born. The increasing workload was never a problem and there was certainly no creeping of It, that workload just smacked us all in the face and we knuckled down and ran with it, one minute it was a drunken idea that we formulated in the pub and the next we had a readership fan base and the support of a very healthy and vibrant diy community. I kept my very high profile document analyst day job for 4 years while running Devolution and the pressures of maintaining them both came to a close in 2006 when I resigned from my post to take Devolution full time. This magazine has never and will never make me any money, but then I knew that before I quit my job. Its hard work, frustrating, demanding and so stressful but the reward and respect along with being able to do something I truly love is sometimes worth more than the financial gain, however at this point I would like to thank the readers, advertisers and bands who appear on our covermount cds because despite not doing it for the money, it needs a certain financial amount to obviously produce it!

As mentioned above, one of Devolution’s strongest suits is the way in which it has established an identity, and a niche of readers who go all out identify with the mag - whether by wearing the merch with pride, signing up to the army of Devo girls & boys or just enthusiastically promoting the mag anyway they can.  How do you define what Devo stands for, and also sum up the core readers with whom the mag’s outlook has struck such a chord?

Wow, these are hard questions! Obviously I can’t speak for the majority but from the feedback I have had many readers and contributors love the magazines moral grounds. They love how we aren’t afraid to include bands, models and artists who might not necessarily shift units of the magazine if they are relatively unknown and they love how personal we are. I dedicate a lot of time to ‘customer service’ and making people feel important and special, like they are truly part of something big and wonderful. We try not to mass produces email answers or have standard responses. I even handwrite notes to readers and spend a lot of time networking with people and asking them how their day is or chatting to them for lengthy periods of time at our events and stalls around the country. It takes a large proportion out of my daily routine but in the long run this approach has proved fruitful time and time again so I will continue to do this. I try and familiarize myself with as many readers and contributors as possible and I think many appreciate the personal touch and how I go out of my way to bring them into the Devolution circle. We stand for a very simple message, be yourself! Celebrate your individuality and your art. Share your experiences; be active and involved within this alternative community. We are all so creative and so unique in our own ways and Devolution embraces it all. We are guys and girls who appreciate the finer, freakier, more outlandish more surreal things in life and Devolution is the platform in which it all stands upon. Though I speak as if we have global domination the truth is we are a tiny tiny proportion of this alternative globe but we are passionate and sincere and to quote one of my muses ‘it isn’t the size of the crowd, it’s the heart of the crowd that matters’ and goddamn our crowd have a huge beating out of your chest heart that is captured amongst our pages.

At the time I edited a print zine, I was often asked whether I feared the dominance of digital media to be fast making print extinct.  I know there are far less labour-of-love inde mags out there on paper than when you or I started, but I still do feel that there is reason to believe the best of them will survive.  What’s your take; are there always going to be some qualities to the magazine that would just never translate if stuck Devo’s content up online?

Plain and simple I truly believe us going digital would ruin Devolution. Granted we would be more accessible, we would probably become more regular with our releases and our production costs would decrease dramatically but I have said for almost 8 years and stood by the fact that I just don’t see that happening for us. I think it would be stupid to ignore the technical exposure and so in the future we may look into certain platforms like IPhone and Ipad having a digital Devolution option but I could not turn our glossy A4 printed beauty into a lifeless on screen download that people can take or leave as they wish. The printed version of the magazine is something I know that people love to take with them anywhere they go, it’s accessible any time of day or night without needing an internet connection and it is something you can pass round to friends and relatives to read over and over. A printed magazine feels great, smells wonderful and can be treasured and kept to be brought out time and time again. We also offer physical cd covermount cds every issue and an A3 poster which bring the entire package to life. The cost of printing rises annually and in the download age many people won’t fork out £4.00 for a magazine, they want it but they want it for free and to do that it would mean jeopardizing everything I and others have worked for over these years and I’m not ready to do that just yet. We may be fighting but it’s a cause worth fighting for and I truly hope we can stay afloat and keep printed media alive! There is no disrespect meant to other editors who have opted for a download digital magazine, I read many of them regularly myself but as the Editor of my own magazine I want a physical format.  

The amount that gets invested into a self-published mag can make running one alternately a real joy and a serious source of stress!  For you, what have proved the hardest parts of the job?  And then what do you consider those greatest rewards, that encourage you to keep going every time it gets tough?

The toughest things are definitely technology failure! In the past year everything has failed me literally weeks before print in most cases. The most recent problem was a motherboard failure 2 days before we were to go to print with Issue 29, which resulted in a 9am Argos trip for a laptop and an afternoon of reinstalling programmes, fonts and going over emails to resave all the artwork and interviews etc. and then turning that issue around in 8 days, then the following Issue 30, somehow it managed to corrupt the file which resulted in the loss of almost 68 pages of work which were not salvageable, meaning I spent 14 days doing 15 hours shifts putting it all back together again to get to print. I can’t begin to tell you what stress, frustration and self-doubt comes into play during these difficult periods. We have no official IT team, we do not work in an office building with help at hand, everything is dealt with by us personally using whoever or whatever means are at our disposal and at the end of the day if the knowledge or money isn’t there, we have to get resourceful and find a way to fix it! I could easily have walked out on this magazine several times, especially in the last year but it means too much to me and it means a hell of a lot to our readers and advertisers to let adversity win. So each issue ends up becoming so personal and so significant that it is engrained with each page. The rewards are seeing it arrive fresh from the printers, seeing and hearing the response from our fans when they all get their copies and being able to promote and publish some of the most amazing talented people in the industry. Every single band, model, artist, photographer, burlesque dancer, event, lifestyle piece, review and make up artistry is chosen by myself and my wonderful team and every issue is an outstanding showcase that we are all very proud to put together for the rest of the world to share.

I’ve definitely learned that, when working for yourself, time management is just about the single most important skill there is - and yet I still haven’t got a clue how you handle publishing & promoting the mag, AND putting on two ambitious annual events in The Alt Collective, and Devo’s Xmas party - and that’s before even considering all the mundane stuff like mail outs!  Enlighten me; what’s a typical working day-in-life like for you?

A typical day for me would be to wake up, brush teeth, swap one pair of pyjamas for my ‘work’ pyjamas which include vest top and usually my awesome stripy bloomers by Little Red Mischief which are comfy and cute so I don’t look too ridiculous answering the door to the postman at 1pm in nightwear ha-ha, then I will check Facebook, emails, post and start replying. I almost always make a to-do list for each day and a typical day will include talking to my wonderful contributors to see how they are getting on, organizing guest list passes and interview requests and I guess a lot of my day is spent networking. On top of that is the processing of the daily webshop orders to package and send out, post office runs, sending out invoices, drumming up advertising and writing my own interviews and features for the current issue that we are all working on. I used to skip lunch for years but have now tried to include that and I have an obsession with hoovering when I am trying to solve a problem or work out what is the next important thing I need to do – weird I know but therapeutic none the less! Being self-employed and working from home can be pretty boring and is a very isolated and lonely existence and the only real connection with the outside world for most of the week is via Facebook, telephone or emails but all this boring daily routine stuff is what builds up each quarter to produce Devolution and though I don’t really earn much of a wage despite my 70+ hour working week I do think it’s the lifestyle that works for me, and obviously there are many perks to working at home and living outside of the normal 9-5 routine. I think it would be very hard for me to go back to that if I am honest.

Without dwelling on the details, Devo’s future has been under threat very recently - resulting in the rapidly growing ’Save Devolution Magazine’ campaign.  The appreciation for your work that has been demonstrated in many quarters via this is quite inspiring - did you even have an inclining that there was quite so much support there until your readers and colleagues stepped up?  And, while I imagine the whole campaign has been quite overwhelming, what stand out to you as some of the most touching individual offers of support for the mag generated?

The ‘Save Devolution Magazine’ campaign was something I thought would never ever have to happen. Unfortunately due to some substantial untimely and out of my control personal issues that arose and knocked me for six a few months ago meant that my world was turned upside down and Devolution faced imminent closure. A friend of mine created the Save Devolution event back in early October to raise awareness to my personal situation offering anyone who wanted to help the chance to make a difference. Within 72 hours I just couldn’t believe the sheer amount of support love friendship and enthusiasm that came flooding through my inbox and via the event page to not let the magazine or myself fail. I have never been so bowled over by the generosity and concern from both friends and total strangers and I am so truly grateful and so utterly overwhelmed everyday even now. I had no idea how much appreciation was out there for the work Devolution does and the work I personally do for people around the world. I have had people offering me cash donations, businesses taking out advertising, readers purchasing subscriptions and merchandise, designers auctioning off their wares and unique special one off creations. There are people who maybe couldn’t help financially so they have found other ways to help raise awareness like Sinzine who have interviewed me about Devolution and things like that. Even now the campaign is still something that people are involved in and sharing on their Facebook pages etc. Essentially any donations received are helping to keep on top of our printing bills and to help with the funding of this year’s Devolution Xmas party. I am just so glad to know so many beautiful souls that really come through when it mattered and this campaign has only enhanced my ambition to keep it running and to strive for a successful and lengthy shelf life. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has helped me and Devolution.

The campaign has focused for a large part on the Xmas party - an event which has itself grown at an amazing rate year-on-year.  What can you tell us about plans for 2011, to persuade those who haven’t got their ticket already to hurry up?

This year is our return to form at The Face Bar in Reading on Saturday 26th November. We have 4 amazing bands, opening with Kerosene Queen from the Midlands, then feisty Mancunians Obsessive Compulsive, a special performance from the rockabilly horror duo Devilish Presley and then our freaky headliners The Shanklin Freak Show closing the stage. In-between that we have our gorgeous Devo Girl Miss Bruise Violet performing a new act and the cabaret/burlesque/sideshow collective from Southampton known as Carnival Of Carnage who will be providing almost 90 mins of entertainment. We have DJ’s, stalls offering handmade wares, Reading Holistics are providing treatments and massages in our relaxation area, there are free goody bags on the door to the first 100 people who arrive, a tombola with some insanely great prizes, free sweets and cupcakes and the very talented Scott Chalmers has his usual photo booth set up offering free shoots to anyone who wants to step in front of the camera so remember to dress to impress! 12 hours of entertainment in a great venue with many wonderful people who are all there to have a fun time and network for just £15.00, we want this to be our biggest party ever so do come on down and share this very special event with us!

It’s a great array of acts that are getting some exposure this year, and when you receive bag loads of music in the mail, I’m sure you’ll agree that one of the major perks of zine editing is to be made aware of a lot of new talent!  From the vantage point of having all this stuff sent your way, what emerging artists can you recommend to us right now?

I have my eye and ears on some great new bands right now who are going to be making a lot of noise and winning over a lot of new fans in the next few months so my top 3 recommendations right now would be the following:
Long Day Fear  (http://www.facebook.com/longdayfear) are a rock metal band who have that stoner, blues and gurn metal vibe. Their songs are infectious, the riffs are punchy as hell and they will be supporting My Ruin in January on their UK tour so make sure you get to the shows early enough to see these guys perform!
Koru (http://www.facebook.com/koruband) are a metal inspired band that I saw live recently and they absolutely blew me away! The band are tight as hell and vocalist Roy has an extremely diverse vocal range allowing for a very versatile performance. Great guys with fantastic musicianship and they put on a highly entertaining show!
Evestus – http://www.facebook.com/evestus This creative soul has been on my playlist for the last few years but I am very excited to announce that this metal industrialist who also has elements of orchestra, rock, rap and punk in his music is a media mastermind who is as creative visually as he is musically and with new material being unleashed in early 2012 I think it’s the perfect time to introduce him to Sinzine readers! I would also like to add all of the bands playing the Christmas Party, make sure you check them out too as there is a reason why they were handpicked for this year’s event and they are all amazing so show them some love too!

And of course Devo is as much alt fashion and lifestyle mag as it is music paper, so how about designers and brands coming up at the moment?  Who do you tip for great things?

Wow – this could simply be answered with a lengthy listing of designers because right now the scene is bursting with creativity and there is so much choice out there for people of all ages, sizes and tastes. It would be very difficult for me to narrow down to just a few so I’m going to list a few that I have personally collaborated with recently or am having items made up for me to personally wear to events in the next few months.

SweetDelirium Jewellery -
Specialising in real animal and bird skull jewellery, antique medical and scientific equipment converted into wearable curios, real X-ray prints, 3d wall art and more. They have the most beautiful creations and I will be rocking a very special custom made headpiece at the Xmas Party!
MT Coffinz –
They are based overseas but have the most magical creations as well as a vegan make up range. Each item is handmade and makes you feel like an absolute princess when you wear them. I am very lucky to be getting another item made for me in a bit of a super mad rush despite their backlog of orders over the Halloween and Xmas period just so that I can feel glamorous and I can feel like belle of the ball once again! I can’t wait to see the final result of my chosen skirt!
Santa Macabre –
I have been raving about this little diy jewellery company for many months and now own quite a collection myself as well as getting custom made Devolution items to sell via our webstore. I love the religious, movie and horror inspired items as well as have a penchant for the custom made faux fur collars which are going to look so great as part of my autumn/winter wardrobe over the next few months!
Intravenous Clothing –
A local designer based in Reading who have some gorgeous quirky and unique designs amongst their arsenal. Latex, handmade jewellery, fascinators and hats, vintage pin up bags and steampunk and burlesque inspired items, they all have all had an intravenous injection of creativity and you should head to their page to spy their range.

Finally - the only closing question there could be!  If you could play God for a day, who would you make an angel and who would you send to hell… and why?

Do you know in almost 8 years of using this as my interview closer question I don’t think I have personally EVER been asked this? Hmmmm I have thought long and hard and still do not know if this is a satisfactory answer but here goes. I would make my muse Tarrie B Murphy of My Ruin an angel. That woman has been a very dear friend to me both on a personal level and a professional one and has been an absolute saint to me over the last 14 years. Her music her attitude her inspiration and her friendship warrants recognition from me and I think she deserves to live as an angel for a day. Hell? Well I don’t want to get too personal but I would say that place would be absolutely reserved for a very complicated friend of mine who has unnecessarily brought chaos, mistrust and sheer confusion to my once secure and untainted princess life.

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SAVE DEVOLUTION EVENT

XMAS PARTY EVENT

Describing themselves as "the UK's number one horror shock rockers", Al B Damned are just the ghouls to get next Friday's Halloween party at Club AntiChrist going - and organize horrific home entertainment for the lazy Saturday that's sure to follow.  When SinZine suggested these scary movie buffs provide a playlist for the Halloween weekend, they devoted some time and thought to the task before eventually returning their selections with the note, "sorry its taken a few days, but the band have been spending most of the time arguing... favourite horror movies is a sure firestarter within Al. B. Damned".  Now see if you agree with their choices!

ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN MOVIE
An obvious one to start off with then; it’s nearly All Hallows Eve and the horror category is simply stuffed with movies based around the holiday.  But if we’re gonna watch just one this year, what would you say is the ultimate Halloween movie?
 
"We would have to say John Carpenter’s Halloween from 1978. It has to be the ultimate Halloween movie for some very good reasons. First of all... It’s called Halloween. Second... It’s set on Halloween. And thirdly... It Rocks!"
 
DARK 'N' SCARY DATE MOVIE
Next, we’re taking a ghoul to the drive-in and we wanna know - what’s the best dark ‘n’ scary date movie you can recommend to be sure this night ends in some nec-romance?
 
"The Blob... Cause bitches love Steve McQueen!"
 
BREAK-UP BLOOD 'N' BLUB-FEST
A few years down the line and it’s break-up time - what’s the finest flick for a horror fan to indulge in a massive tub of ice cream (or indulge fantasies about murdering the ex….) in front of?
 
"This one has to be American Psycho. The amount of times we’ve stood behind our ex’s with a nail gun just contemplating pulling the trigger is beyond belief... So this one just really hits home."
 
SICK FLICK TO GET THE GAG REFLEX GOING
Following on from ice cream… our next scenario is this; some fucker has been handing out carob and other low-cal snacks to unsuspecting trick or treaters!  In a greedy rush to get that whole bucket o’ candy down we don’t realize until it’s too late, and now we really need a sick flick to induce vomiting - fast!  What do you suggest?
 
"Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Snow White etc... Any girly, Princess, Singing, Dwarf Loving, Animal Touching, Fish Fantasy bullshit is enough to bring up our food. Although eating it all over again is pretty fun."
 
CHEESY PLEASURE
Moving on to another flavour of film - what’s Al B. Damned choice ‘cheesy pleasure‘ from the horror archives?
 
"Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space!"
 
GREATEST INSPIRATION
The band’s image, show and videos clearly draw inspiration from across the whole history of horror.  But if pushed / threatened with torture, which bit of cinema has had the greatest influence on your image and presentation?
 
"With regards to the image, we take influence from a wide variety of dark horrors. Our image has the goth, post apocalyptic, trashy, punk look of Near Dark, The Crow and The Lost Boys but our music is more tongue-in-cheek like the old B-Movies or modern classics like Brain Dead. Our heavier songs do have a touch of House Of 1000 Corpses and Saw."   
 
PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR
Now, how about some psychological horror; what’s your favourite of those films where the fear is more in your mind than on the screen?
 
"It has to be one of the Asian horrors, like Ringu, Ju-on or Pi. We don’t know if it’s a cultural thing but these just seem to get in your head like none of the Western horrors seem to be able to do."
 
GREATEST GOREFEST
And on the flipside - greatest gorefest?  When it’s all about the blood ‘n’ brains, what’s the best thing to watch?
 
"Classic 70’s and  80’s horror was a gold mine for seeing the blood and guts. Although the effects weren’t always the best, that seemed to be what made them even more visceral. With the addition of poorly lit scenes and terrible camera quality it just made it better. Movies like Hellraiser, Nightmare On Elm Street and Driller Killer should be your first stop for over the top fun and gore."
 
UNDERRATED GEM
The film which flew under the radar, but which you feel ought to be acclaimed as a classic.
 
"Return Of The Living Dead Part III. This film was amazing and so so so underrated. First of all your had Melinda Clarke playing a naked, undead, naked, glass perforated, naked, dominatrix-style, naked, pierced, naked, hot, naked, naked ... What was the question again?"
 
CHEAP THRILL - SCARY MOVIE ON A SHOESTRING
What about the best blood ‘n’ guts fest on a budget? Plenty of directors have 50p and a sick mind, but who has used these item to greatest effect?
 
"This question is a very difficult one and seems to be causing conflicts within the band... So our collective answer is: There are millions of great Video Nasties that were made on a budget and are spectacular in the gore department. Honourable mentions go to Driller Killer, Cannibal Holocaust, Zombie Flesh Eaters, The Evil Dead, I Spit On You Grave, House By The Cemetery... This could go on forever..."
 
HORNY HORROR / TORTURE, PORN
And finally, The One To Watch With The Sound Down.  If we want only the sexiest of scream queens, what do you recommend we put on the screen?  
 
"After:Life - throughout our childhood Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams was always hot and in our pre-pubescent days we just wanted to see Wednesday naked... Nowadays that would be morally wrong... But luckily for us she’s all grown up and spends about 90% of the movie After:Life... NAKED!!!"

Find out more about Al B Damned here: www.albdamned.com

And scroll down for their "So Far So Bad" video!

When Club AntiChrist's bloodthirsty boylesquer, and our own sickest columnist, performed for Alice Cooper's pleasure the old rocker reportedly commented "I'm going to need a lot of therapy for a long, long time. That is the most disturbing thing I've seen all day".  Though our hearts bleed, Alice can afford his own therapy bills.  For the SinZine psychiatrist, there could few case studies more fascinating than that of the mind behind an act combining snakes, bellydancing and cult cinema, which is set to grace the AC stage on Oct 28th.  Please welcome Sex0r to the couch...


So let’s start by talking about the incident that led to you being referred here to my couch.  You have announced your intention to perform as a “snake-hipped belly dancer from Hell”, at a nightclub seemingly operated by a Satanic cult of some description.  What could you have meant by this statement?

I actually told them I'd be performing as a 'snake-dicked bellydancer from Hell' but clearly they fucked it up, so everyone's obviously going to be disappointed. I like my taglines to be interesting without telling exactly what's going on - usually the 'Don't watch this show if you're easily upset' warnings are more informative than the show title. The actual name of the show I'm doing is 'Le Serpent Rouge', and it's a twist on an infamous scene from a cult classic film that I've loved since childhood. But if you want to know any more about it you'll have to buy tickets and come and watch it, won't you?

Now, Sex0r…. do I have to call you ‘Sex0r’?  Surely this can’t be the name which your mother bestowed upon you!  How did you come to adopt this deviant persona?  And why?

Yes, you have to call me Sex0r. I've had people pull my real name in interviews before and they've ended up as two unsightly lumps under my kitchen lino - it's rude to dismiss someone's stage name, you know. It's interesting that you use the word 'persona' because I actually don't like being viewed that way. For me, the word 'persona' implies a mask that you put on to become something else, and the shows that I perform aren't fabrications, they're exaggerations of myself, which is why I can't answer when I 'adopted this persona'. I'd happily use my real name on stage if it wasn't so fucking impossible for the remedial masses to spell right. But it's all just me performing what I feel I want to perform - the gore shows are demons that I'm exorcising, the porn or strip shows are expressions of my sexuality, and so on. I've never felt that it's a persona - it's me taking all the things I can't say or do without being injected in the face with valium and locked away and turning them into my idea of a good time. I understand why people think of it as a persona - I've had a lot of people tell me that I'm very cartoon like and that I can't possibly be like it in real life, but I am. I spend half my life with a tiny, fluffy dog sat on my lap, sending explicit photos of myself bouncing up and down on a courgette to an IT consultant and defrosting dead rats. Sometimes I name the rats and act out little dead rat puppet pantomimes. It might seem persona-like to the outside world, but to me, I'm just hanging out doing what makes me happy.

Performing for Alice Cooper

Now that we mention the parents, many psychological schools of thought have it that disorders of the mind can be blamed upon the parental units.  Did you - and do you still - enjoy a good relationship with your mother?  Is she aware of your preference for earning your living by splattering a crowd of spectators with bodily fluids?

She's aware of what I do for a living and from what I gather she's supportive, but if I'm honest, that woman is a bitch. I've never had a particularly close relationship with her, we don't speak any more - with any luck the next time I talk to that cow it'll be via an ouija board. My Dad died when my Mother was pregnant and she had a series of disastrous relationships since then, which I was forced to spectate and endure while I lived with her. It was exhausting and infuriating - I left home and slept rough when I was 16. It's something that I've addressed in a few performances actually. Huge cliché, but whatever.

With your referral I received not only your medical notes, but several journal entries, titled ‘Sex0r Says’.  These reveal a preoccupation with adoption and having a child of your own, which suggests to me that your issues are rooted in deep in your childhood and that, through your wayward behaviour, you have been seeking to rectify these issues in your adult life.  Tell me, was yours a happy childhood?  While your peers were off say, joining a gang - or engaging in some other typical boyish pursuit, was there a point at which you realized you might prefer to dress up, play with what we perceive as girls’ toys (like this one, perhaps?) and perform for an audience?

My childhood sucked more metaphorical dick than I suck actual dick, which is saying something. I won't go on about it too much because I don't like to smash the popular theory that I never was a child and was in fact just found fully formed under a rock in Eastern Europe. I will say though, that as a kid I was very theatrical. I was always making wild stories up and doing accents for my toys - my favourite was that my two action men were trying to artificially inseminate an Optimus Prime figure but couldn't agree on whose spunk to use. I'm being totally honest. This poured out into my day to day life - I was always remarked on as a very bright, intelligent, but fucking bizarre little boy. I'd usually get cast in the main role for the school Christmas production but I'd find it incredibly frustrating; I'd want to change Red Riding Hood's basket to a suitcase full of dead bodies and write scenes where Puss in Boots got skinned alive and turned into a hat. I genuinely thought these ideas were amazing and couldn't understand why I'd be quickly told to be quiet and ignored. I'd simultaneously developed a total fascination with old splatter movies like Braindead and Evil Dead, so it was always natural for me to want to create violent or upsetting productions. I always wanted to be in front of an audience, preferably making them throw up, so it's just been a natural continuation into adulthood for me.
To answer your question about dressing up and playing with girls toys - I once famously put the outfit on that my Mother wore to my Dad's funeral, went downstairs and asked her if I was beautiful. When she freaked out and sent me upstairs, I spent the rest of the day drawing pictures of her cadaver on a skewer and crying to Simply Red. I think the desire to wear ridiculous clothes was always there, too.

Of course your primary disorder, according to my notes, is not dressing up but quite the reverse! When did these impulses to shed your clothes in public first present themselves? Can you recall the first occasion on which you acted upon these desires?

Anybody who thinks my 'primary' disorder is taking my clothes off is a bad journalist. I didn't start stripping until I was 18 and I'd been knocking around various scenes for a long time before that - I learned to eat fire and lie on a bed of nails when I was 14, so I actually started as a sideshow performer, meaning that my primary disorder would be pyromania. Did you actually go to psychiatrist school or did you just suck a Professor's dirty cock for the certificates? If you're asking when it was first decided that I'd go into the more sexual side of performing, then I can recall the exact first gig. Weirdly enough, it was at Club AntiChrist in March 2009. I wore a shitty PVC corset and danced on a podium in the main room and wiggled my arse around. It was great fun and the boss asked for me to come back at a later date so that was it, I was off! I was working as a professional Dominant at the same time, and would occasionally perform demo's and whatnot at private swingers parties, so it all went very hand in hand - strip at the fetish club, get your boots licked at the fetish club, get drunk at the fetish club. Simple. I was happy as a pig in shit.

Cases of your type are often unable to recognise what is socially unacceptable behaviour.  Tell me, how do you perceive bystanders who are witness to your lewd public displays to be affected by what they see?

I'd like to think they're affected in any way possible. Apathy is the worst reaction you can ever have to a creative output. I don't know, I've had reactions varying from asking me out on a date to complaining to the management and boycotting future events so I think it's all relative, and I like that. My favourite reaction is by far when people say "Wow, I've never seen anything like that before, that was really unexpected." I've been going to live entertainment events forever and one of my biggest mission statements is not to pander to any of the namby pamby shit you see time and time again. I've paid £30 to go to an event advertising allegedly amazing performers only to be met with fat, housewife slappers prancing about in nipple pasties and drunk metalheads breathing fire and it winds me right up, so I deliberately go in there and give everybody far more than they bargained for. That gives me real happiness and sense of accomplishment, to think that I've even left a scar on the most open of minds. I think the type of events you see me at have become very socially acceptable and safe and that kind of pisses me off - when I first started going to these places it always felt a bit naughty and risky and now it's just another Friday night. I like to think that people have come in paying half a mind to what's going on in the performance area, and by the time I'm done have left with their jaws a few feet lower from their faces, only to spend the next fortnight telling everyone about this one performer who was completely and utterly beyond words. It's gotten to the point where even the other performers backstage leave when I'm getting ready - I perform a show where I have a victim on stage with me whose rectum is loaded up with pig guts. I shove my fist up his arse and yank them out, so preparing for that show backstage basically involves me prodding guts up his arsehole with a stick while he holds a speculum in place. Other performers have to leave the area when I'm prepping for that show - not because I tell them to, but because they can't bear to watch what's going on. That really tells you something about the genuine nature of the people who profess to be SO different, SO engaging, SO artistic that you have to pay to watch them perform, doesn't it? I like to think that, even if I offend and upset you, that I've given you your moneys worth. You've seen something different, you've got an experience to tell people about at work on Monday - that's the name of it, isn't it?

To get to the root of your issues, we need to consider what motivates you to put on these deviant shows.  How does performing these spectacles for an audience make you feel?  Before, during and after the act.

Depends on the show. The really vile ones are my favourite - before the show I get really amped up. To deliver a show as grotesque as fucking a dead baby or force feeding a screaming man his own intestines you need to be in a zone. It needs to be high energy, over the top, total 80s B movie splatter so I get really buzzed before those shows. The XXX porn parody shows tend to make me more nervous before I go on, mainly because I have to use several enemas to ensure that the audience don't get more than they bargained for when I start spraying whatever it is I feel like spraying out of my butt. Nobody wants a face full of yesterday's roast, do they?
During the show, whatever type of show, I go into my own little world. I often don't completely plan the act - I have musical cues which denote when a certain move/stunt/prop needs to be set off but the rest is improvised. It's definitely the best part, it's like meditating or some shit. For those few minutes I'm totally in my own world and it's the best place to be. If I'm performing something dangerous I'm very focused and controlled but it's still the same kind of feeling. A bit like being on crystal meth, but without the part when you stab your wife in the head.
Afterwards is my least favourite part - I'm usually bleeding, burned, covered in half a dead pig or scrambling around trying to find my clothes which isn't really helpful in being in a good mood. That, and I'm incredibly critical of my work so as soon as I'm off I immediately start going over what felt right and what felt wrong, how the audience felt, and how it needs to be tweaked and improved in the future. Then, after I've wound down, it's usually straight to the shower. I don't like spending the rest of my evening stinking like an Essex girl's cudge.

And finally, the most abstract, yet often most revealing of all the questions in this short psychological evaluation; the inkblot round.  Tell us what you see in each of the following images - write as little, or as much, as you wish - go crazy!  Or rather don’t.  Please don’t go crazy, Sex0r….

It looks like a bloke with pincers for hands and a huge moustache. Doesn't look too dissimilar from this bloke I was fucking when I was 15 - he'd pick me up from the bus stop down the road and hold a gun to my head while he wanked through the car window - like the really hot scene in Bad Lieutenant. He didn't have pincers though. I wish he had - how many people can say a man with pincers has ejaculated in their eye?

 I see a really, really mangled vagina. I'm not being inflammatory, that's honestly what it looks like. You know when slutty girls think it's sexy to pull their flaps apart with their fingers like they're trying to catch flies? It looks like that. Why do women do that? If someone could explain I'd be really grateful.

I don't know what the fuck you expect me to say about that. It looks like a disease. I hate germs. I carry a bottle of Domestos with me and flick people who look like they belong in that inkblot with it. Filthy, awful creatures, people. I used to have chronic hygiene compulsions actually - washing hands constantly, incessantly blowing my nose, getting through half a bottle of antibac gel a day - I really don't like the idea of bacteria.

I saw an episode of South Park the other day with Cthulhu in it; it looks a bit like that. I love any octopus-like animal, they're amazing. I'd love a pet one but I get ridiculously attached to my animals and where they only live for a year or so it wouldn't be healthy for me. I'm settling for getting one inked on my body instead. Maybe around my arsehole. That's cute, right?

Clowns, cake, lions, tigers and bare flesh - Oh my!  When Club AntiChrist took a trip to the circus on June 24th for its 7th birthday, an eclectic set of clubbers bowled down to the big top the celebrate.  SinZine roamed from the dancefloors to the dungeon, to meet fetishists, fashionistas, first-timers and chain mail-makers, and capture the most fabulously dressed amongst them on film.

Writers : Sexy Dave, Alison B, Dan YHD
Photography :Nikki Q


“People are really open minded and dressing in such an inspirational way - as a fashion designer I just can’t stop watching” - Tara

What have you been enjoying about tonight so far?
I just moved to London last October from Paris, so I’m just discovering the London Goth scene and it’s my first AntiChrist. I love that the people are really nice and open minded, and dressing in such an inspirational way.  Because as a fashion designer I just can’t stop watching - so many ideas come to my mind.
Tell about how you’ve come dressed tonight.
When I saw there was circus theme tonight I needed to go for the Ringmaster thing. So I’m wearing a headpiece of  my own design from my label,  Tarabyakko, and actually the jacket is by me too - is a custom made I did for myself, and the skirt is by me.  The corset is orthapedic corset, and finally my Bordello shoes - can’t go wrong with Bordello!
How will you be spending the rest of your night?
I’m just gonna stay here and watch how people dress and just enjoy!  So far I’ve done Torture Garden and AntiChrist since moving to London and I love it here - people are much more open minded here.

**

“For us, this is just back of the wardrobe stuff” - Frisky Clown and Karen

So would we be right to take it you put a fair bit of planning into your outfits for tonight’s circus theme?
Frisky: Nah, actually I always dress like that this!  I’ve been Frisky Clown now for about 10 years, so come a big night out, out comes my clown outfit of the night!  It’s actually a complete coincidence that I fit the theme tonight, but a good one.  For us, this is just at back of the wardrobe stuff; we can actually say it’s just something we pulled out of the drawer.
Will we find you getting frisky at most AC events?
Frisky: This is the second one we’ve been to.  We first came last year we haven’t had the chance again until  now.  We’ve just come down on the train from Coventry, and actually run a small version of this back home - a night called Twisted
Are you in the business of scoping out the competition tonight, then? Or down on a pleasure trip?
Frisky: Purely for pleasure! When we’re at our own club we’re obviously kept quite busy, so it’s nice to come and play somewhere else. It’s purely leisure tonight - we’ve not got no flyers, we’re not promoting anything, we’re just here for the laugh. It’s a good atmosphere here, there’s people that we know, it’s our kinda thing, it’s what we like doing.
 

**

“It’s sort of like gladiator meets samurai-fetish” - Max Kane

How’s your night been so far?
It’s been nice so far.  The atmosphere is building up quite quickly, which is good.  It’s always fun here, I like it.
You’re an AntiChrist regular then?
I try to come as often as I can, yeah.  It’s only every quarter, so it’s an easy gig.  And I’m from over in  Islington, so it’s not too far.  
And inspiration behind the outfit?
It’s all my own stuff, I’m a costume maker by trade so this is all my own gear,  Tonight, it’s sort of like gladiator meets samurai-fetish, you know?  
 

**

“A lot of dancing, a lot of cupcakes”.

How’s your night going so far?
He says: It’s our first time and so far, so good.  We’re really enjoying it.
She says: A lot of dancing, a lot of cupcakes.
He says: The cake is good.
First time - is it living up to expectations?
H: Loving it! We’re coming again!
Tell us a little about the thought behind your outfits tonight…
S: It’s another party, my regular clothes!  
H: These are my regular clothes too, I even wear a lot of all alternative clothes to work.  I’m trying to work the Steampunk feeling tonight.  The top is the start of it and it’s all going to go from there.  
Where are you going to spend the rest of your night?
H: Dancing, wandering.
S: Maybe more cupcakes?
H: Industrial room!
 

**

“Dressed as an inferior demented clown”

How’s your AntiChrist birthday been so far?
Good! I’ve come down from Leeds and it’s good to see friends I’ve not seen for quite a while, this is the first big event for us since Torture Garden’s Halloween party. I’ll be recovering the whole of Sunday and Monday!
You think it’s worth the long journey down here, then?
Yeah, I like coming down for this because up North you don’t have that many sort of events. There a few but it’s not like here where I find it very anonymous - you can go out and not everybody knows everything about you, but you can start meeting up with people you know from previous events.
Tell us a little bit about your look today - what are you wearing?
I’m dressed as an inferior demented clown, with obviously the pink top hat, pink ruffles, pink ruffle wristbands, black puffball dress, pink and black stockings.  And really-not-going-with-the-outfit shoes, because I forgot my heels!

**

“Tonight I’ve got on a tail, ears, and naughty knickers under the tutu”- Sian and Dave

What brings you two to AntiChrist?  What’s the main attraction?
Sian: I came here because it’s Club Antichrist’s birthday today and it’s my birthday on Monday [which, June babies may wish to note before next year, is entitlement to free entry!] .  It’s my first time down here, and for me the main draw was the live acts, and getting to dress up. I love getting to dress up.
Dave: For me just to see what’s going on really.  And the live acts were a real draw.  
Talk us through what you’re wearing tonight.
Sian: Okay, I’ve come as a tiger tonight, so I painted my nails and face, and then I’ve got on a tail, ears, and naughty knickers under the tutu!
Dave: And I’ve come as a ringmaster.  To keep her under control.
And were you to run off and join the circus, what would be your act?  Will you stick with wild animal and tamer… or something else?
Sian: Juggling.
Dave: Poi or juggling.

**


“It’s a breath of fresh air to come to somewhere where everyone’s friendly” - Penny and Sakura Dahmer

You’ve not gone for the obvious circus theme tonight - want to talk us through the outfits you have chosen?
Sakura: When I heard ‘circus’ I thought ‘circus freakshow’.  So I’ve come as a little dolly that looks like she’s been raped and been on smack.
Penny: I don’t really like to do themes because I like do my own thing
We’ve already ascertained you’re both AntiChrist regulars - what is it that keeps you coming back for more?
Sakura: The music and the fact you can just be yourself.  Everyone is here for a good time, and people here are so friendly.  Some places I’ve been have just been so cliquey, there so many places like that and it’s just a breath of fresh air to come to somewhere where everyone’s friendly. I’ve met a few friends here.
Penny: I always meet loads of friends when I come here. We actually met here…
Sakura: …when she just came out up to me shouting about happy hours
Penny: Happy hour makes me happy!
So aside from adding more happy hours, could anything improve AntiChrist?
Both: It’s good as it is.
Sakura: It doesn’t need improving, you get a good crowd here, the music is brilliant, every time,
Penny: You always get a good mix of people here - you know you get the clubbers, you get the Goths, the fetish people - everyone’s here to have a good time, and that’s why it works.

**

“I’m here for the people watching” - Yolanda

We love your outfit.  Do you put much advance planning into AntiChrist ensembles?
Well, I’ve been planning this since I found out tonight was a circus theme!  This is actually just my third time here.
So what’s kept you coming back to the club?
The diversity of people - I just love people watching! And everyone is so relaxed here.  I see them as themselves, and I hope they see me as myself.  
And where do you fall within that diverse crowd?  Here for the dungeon or the dancefloor?
I’m literally just here for the people watching, just to meet people!

**

“If I take all my clothes off, then it’ll be fine!” - Paul and Jess

Talk us through your outfits.
Jess: Paul has just had his legs waxed and his chest, so we thought drag would be a good idea
Paul: Yeah I’ve just had my legs waxed and my chest, had my hair dyed and all that so it seemed like a good idea to pull on high heels, stockings, a nice corset and a very frou frou skirt. It’s a skirt that takes up a great deal of space, but is very, very short.  I like it.
And where do you think you’ll be spending most of your night?
Jess: We’ve already been in the dungeon, and had a very nice time admiring people playing and that - it seems to be really high quality play, and it’s nice to see not just heterosexual couples as well, it seems to be quite queer friendly.  And then we’ve been watching the shows in the theatre..
Paul: Quite a lot of fun, Missa’s hot wax show
Jess: I love hot wax!  
Is it something you may want to go into the dungeon and recreate later?
Jess: Uhh, not while I’m wearing my rubber outfit!  Rubber and hot wax don’t mix!
Paul: You’re welcome to get out of any of these clothes…
Jess: Yeah, if I take all my clothes off then it’ll be fine!
Finally, what would be your special skill in the big top?
Jess: I’d definitely be on the trapeze,
Paul: I don’t think it’s really a circus act but I would love to know how to throw knives, that’d be quite a lot of fun to do.  

**

Club AntiChrist returns to Vauxhall’s Colosseum Club for a Vampire Ball themed night on September 2nd, when SinZine will also be back to snap the bloodsucking belles of the ball!

In just 3 weeks Club AntiChrist will celebrate its 7th birthday at the circus and as the date draws closer SinZine presents its penultimate profile of performers set to grace the AC stage on June 24th, in the process defiling another British broadcasting institution. Yes, after dining with the Shanklin Freak Show we now challenge real-life sideshow freaks Wunderkammer to a round of Desert Island Discs.  Meets Lord of The Flies.


You might have all the PC will in the world, but there ain't no way you're coming away from an encounter with the two groups of Isle of Wight inhabitants due to invade London on Club AntiChrist's birthday without conceding that, at its core, The Wicker Man stereotype of residents of the more remote British Isles could just contain a grain of truth.  Native circus rockers the Shanklin Freak Show's deviant uh, tastes are one variety of freaky, but their pals in 'Wunderkammer' - an extreme performance troupe who'll be packing broken glass, bowling balls and a bed of nails for the boat ride over - possess high pain thresholds, and a preference for publicly pushing these to the limit that, which are truly something else.  In their own words, here are the cast:

Nick Painless:  After his spaceraft crash landed on Earth Nick's body was discovered by a military unit. Wanting to know more about him they conducted experiments, which left his skin scarred & bleached white. After escaping he started to work with occult members to try & regain what is left of his mind
 
Hel Painless: Mystery surrounds the age, background and often location of this immortal angel. It is believe she was once a great Celtic Warrior who travelled the World learning the powers of physical and mental combat. After falling in battle she was immortalized by an evil power to guard the gates of hell and to undertake assassin duties
 
Kwerky Kirk:  Found as a small child and raised by circus freaks in a travelling show, he is now a member of an occult society and rising through its ranks to learn secrets from the ancients of controlling elements. He is dedicated to the corruption of the weak minded and drawing power from your fears and nightmares.

The Gimp:  Little is know of this creature except that he was discovered in the black forest in darkest Europe. Mute and horribly disfigured he hid from the human race feeding on insects and grubs, his isolation has left him mentally scarred and it recommended that you approach with caution!!
 
Here's the scenario we hit this foursome with; on route to AntiChrist - disaster strikes!  The travelling party is shipwrecked and, ignoring for a second just how unlikely a great gust of southerly wind capable of blowing a ferry off course is, Wunderkammer wind-up washed-up on a desert island somewhere.  Aside from the few luxuries that the BBC apparently provides in these situations, all our castaways are armed to ensure their survival is the bag of broken glass, bowling balls and other tools of the trade which they had packed when preparing to perform for the AC punters.  

And so now we have the contestants on this island, it seems a mighty fine time to make check everybody can swim and that no parts of the act incur a serious risk of drowning in either brine or blood, right?
 Nick:  No I can’t swim, I don’t float very well with all the metal in me
Hel: I can swim but prefer land.  Our intention isn’t for anyone to drown in blood
Kwerky:  I don’t know that sounds fun
Nick: It would be good, we may add that one to the show, as a finale we could all disappear in a flood of blood
The Gimp: *Smiles and nods excitedly at the mention of blood*
Hel: He can swim a little but only does doggy paddle
 
Before we desecrate a Radio 4 institution completely, let's make a token attempt to do this properly and have your desert island discs. Which tunes provide the perfect soundtrack to Wunderkammer's gruesome stageshow? And which get you in the mood for some masochistic exhibitionism when you're getting set backstage?
Nick: The Deftones 'My Own Summer' because it IS My Summer and My Rules.  This song just sounds as if it was written on adrenaline.
Kwerky: Nine Inch Nails 'Head Like a Hole', why?  Well once you’ve seen the show it all becomes clear.
Hel: The Misfits – 'Descending Angel' because it makes me feel alive and Gothminister’s 'Happiness in Darkness' really makes me embrace the darkness of the show.
The Gimp: *Reaches for his iPod and plays Korn – Freak on a Leash.*
 
The classic format for this game also allows castaways a book of their choice.  But is there any essential reading out there that can recommend the 'right' way to go about things, when the thing one seeks to master is a set of party tricks as dangerous as those in Wunderkammer's repertoire?  And in lack of an instructional manual, is 'Practical First Aid' a suitably well-thumbed volume to substitute?
Nick: That’s easy either Snake Oil or Freak Like Me by Jim Rose, the man is a legend, there are so many ideas to develop our antics
Kwerky: The Dangerous Book for Boys, what else?!
Hel: The Book of Five Rings by Musashi Miyamoto, there is always more to learn and it’s as much about conditioning the mind as it is the body, you have to win the battle with yourself before you can win it against others.  As for the first aid, that isn’t a problem, I’m immortal.
Nick: And Kwerky and myself are too powerful.  Blood and pain doesn’t need first aid it needs a video camera and a bottle of JD.
Kwerky: The Gimp can’t read, so can we have a colouring book and crayons for him.
 
Your final bit of free-choice packing traditionally takes the form of a 'luxury item' - a gold-finished bed (or hammock) of nails, perhaps?
Hel: A ship!
Nick:  An endless supply of cigarettes to stop us killing each other, oh and a load of waterproof matches.
Kwerky:  A chainsaw so we can play chainsaw football for fun.
The Gimp: *Quickly scribes on his drawing pad and hands it to Nick*
Nick: He would like a kitten to train and be his friend
 
That concludes the contents of your standard BBC issue suitcase then, which presumably will now set sail behind you and arrive some weeks later.  Until then, how will you be passing the time, using only those items you arrived with?  We hear you're such keen darts players that you carry all the kit everywhere with you; any other good games in your box of tricks there to keep the desert island boredom away?
Nick: We are all about entertaining ourselves and others, so that won’t be a problem.  With all the trees, rocks and everything about on the island I’m sure we can develop some more wild and wonderful ways to delight the audience, and ourselves.
Kwerky: We have bowing balls which I normally play with using my ears, but we could set them alight and throw them at each other.
Hel:  The Gimp will be training his kitten.
 
In a lucky bit of foresight, it seems you did pack a few bottles of strong liquor to pass the time... but the contents only provided entertainment for the brief duration of that ferry ride.  How will you now go about recycling the packaging:
a) send out a message in a bottle.  Which reads...
Nick: It would read “It wasn’t us!”, mainly because it usually is us and we’d get blamed for the shipwreck so just want to make it clear we are innocent(ish) this time

b) break into tiny, razor sharp shards, and then proceed to...
Kwerky: Eat them!
Hel:  I think we should keep some and make more liquor from local fruits we find.
Nick: We can collect some water in them to make up the liquor.
Hel: We can then ferment it in the bucket of glass we already have.
Nick: A bit of extra crunch to it.
 
Now, should it turn out this island has some native inhabitants, how do you approach?  If they look like friendly folks, what's the ice-breaker act you'll be presenting to win over a new audience and some island allies?  Or should they be sorts you think you'd like to drive away on sight, how about a particularly grim party piece that always has crowds gasping and gagging?
Nick: We would amaze them and show them how we control the elements. We all know blood is thicker than water so I prove to them how I can control blood flow by becoming a human pin cushion.
Kwerky: I would breathe huge flames of fire over their heads, The Gimp eats wild creatures.
The Gimp: *Grabs a live locust and eats it*
Hel: I’ll walk across the broken up glass as if walking in air
Kwerky: They would then see us as Gods
Nick: We would then recruit them as minions to help us on our quest for World Domination
 
On every hypothetical desert island there seems to come a time when in inhabitants must turn to cannibalism.  We are interested to hear your answer to that old standard of who you'd eat first, but moreover we want to know what in your bag of tricks is going to do the best job of disposing of the unfortunate member of the company and then, in the absence of mam's best silver, serving them up in style?
Nick:  The Gimp that’s what he’s there for!
Hel: I’m a vegetarian so I’ll just stick to the local vegetation
Nick: I’ll use my trusty fire axe to decapitate him, then skewer him on the bed of nails
Kwerky:  We have plenty of paraffin so while Nick is doing that, and Hel is off picking fruit, I can start up a BBQ to roast him.
Hel: And the fruit, 5 a day and all that
Nick: We could serve him off a concrete slab and eat him with the throwing knives
Hel: All served up with some of the fruit liquor we made earlier. We’ll save the kitten though; he can be trained up to take over from The Gimp now he’s been eaten
 
Eventually spotting a helicopter overhead you find yourself without any flares.  How are you going to get the attention of your potential rescuers?  Or rather, which of the Wunderkammer tribe has gained the most valuable in experience of going up in flames onstage and will be drawing the short straw here?
Kwerky: We don’t need flares; I am a human flare but twice as powerful
Nick: If we can put paraffin on it we can burn it

 Just before you're airlifted away to the mainland, answer us this one.  You clearly all have a high tolerance for pain - but who would even you consider utterly torturous company to be cast away with?
Hel: Katie Price, although she’d probably make a good raft, she’d certainly float.
Nick: Justin “I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation” Bieber, can I use the fire axe and eat him instead.  No? Okay can’t I just use the fire axe on him anyway and not eat him then?
Kwerky: There are just too many
Nick: Pretty much any fake celebrity or orange person

So there you go - first prize on Survivor surely awaits!  Until then however, we can assure you that the situations described above are, like the idea of a third series of Survivor being commissioned, entirely hypothetical and the greater likelihood is that Wunderkammer will make it to AntiChrist on June 24th to entertain.  So grab yourself a ticket and see more at www.painlessparties.co.uk

YouTube Links :
www.youtube.com/user/nickpainless#p/u/3/mEjVOnPUBCo    (6 point superman suspension)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaooODFtLXo   (Nick Painless on Snog, Marry, Avoid!)

Soon to make their second appearance on Britain’s Got Talent, The Circus of Horrors are on a mission to make teatime viewing a touch darker.  Ringmaster Dr. Haze tells SinZine about their bid to ‘take the extreme to the mainstream’.

Born into a circus family, before running away to join a rock ‘n’ roll band, Circus of Horrors’ ringmaster Dr. Haze found a way to combine the twin passions upon founding the alternative circus almost 16 years ago.  Initially touring in a traditional big top, and then later moving to theatre stages, The Circus of Horrors has from the outset combined live rock ‘n’ roll - from Haze’s own group ‘Haze Vs. The X Factor’, with daredevil circus acts - which include sword swallowing, contortion and blade walking, creating a captivating and highly distinctive show.  

Over its years on the road, the Circus of Horrors has built up a considerable following, and recently attracted unlikely attention from the producer’s of Britain’s Got Talent, who suggested the troupe audition before the cameras.  Unphazed by the ITV staple’s reputation as a place to see desperate hopefuls jump through hoops for the reward of either fame of humiliation, Haze took up the challenge, and a fortnight ago his group received three ‘yeses’ from the show‘s judges, putting them through to the next stage of the competition, and just one step away from the semi-finals.

SinZine spoke to the good Doctor just a couple days before his troupe’s fortunes were due to be announced on air, and learned a little more about his motivations for signing up to the show, and the story behind the Circus of Horrors’ new touring production ‘The Ventriloquist’.

So your appearance Sunday’s show will seal your place in the next stage of the competition - are you feeling quietly confident?
Well the first round, the audience were all up on seats and it didn’t show on telly, but that first round we had a real standing ovation, and that standing ovation went on for about 5 minutes.  But we don’t perform again on Sunday, what we have to do on Sunday is just stand in front of the judges.  I believe they’ll show part of our previous performance but you don’t actually have to perform again.  What they do, they have groups of people and some they’ll tell them they automatically have to go through again, some are automatically out, some have to re-audition and what you’ve got is out of the 10,000 acts it’s down to 200 on Sunday, and then out of that 200, they go down to 40 ,and those 40 they go on to form the semi-finalists, for the live semi-finals.  Which start on Monday next week.  We’ve had to rehearse a piece for the semi-final just inc case, so we’re ready for it, you can’t be too well prepared!

I know you can’t give too much away at this stage, but should you make it to the semi-finals, can give us a hint of what viewers are in for?  Are you really moving the act up a notch at this stage?
Well we’ve got to, I think the good thing about the Circus of Horrors is that we’ve got a lot of very multi-talented people, they don’t just come and do one thing, so consequently whereas a singer will come on and sing a different song and a dancer will probably do a different dance routine we can probably come on and do a whole different one and a half minutes.  And it can be one and half minutes of complete mayhem, and that’s what we’re really hoping it’s going to be, eleven of us on stage really going for it, a different song obviously and some brilliant, brilliant acts, some of which have never been seen before anywhere in the world.

So just how did the Circus of Horrors come to figure ‘Britain’s Got Talent - that sounds like a bit of a laugh’?  The show is seen very much as a place for new acts to break, whereas the circus is quite established…
Yes it is, and they contacted me and said ‘would you be interested in doing it‘, and when they did that I thought they were referring to different individual acts - like [heavily-modded Circus regular Hannibal Helmurto] Helmurt’s sword swallowing or something, and we weren’t interested in that.  We thought, ‘yes he’s a great sword swallower’, and I could compere it and everything, and you know we could probably get a little bit further but we wouldn’t get very far, we’d probably get buzzed a little bit.  And we thought we wouldn’t really achieve much by doing that.  If you look at some of the individual speciality acts that have been on before - someone like Stevie Starr who got to the semi-final, he didn’t get any further, because I don’t know whether that sort of act would..  I said ‘well no, it’s not really what I’m interested in’, and then they persevered until we came to an agreement that meant we could do a condensed version of the Circus of Horrors, and that’s how it came about.  We just thought ‘we’ll go on, 10 million people will see us, the judges may like us, they may not like us, the worst scenario is they’re a bit rude to us!

You’re not the first ’alternative’ act to appear on Britain’s Got Talent, previous series have seen Stevie Starr, Dr Gore and Mr Methane amongst others standing before the judges.  Do you think this is the first time we’re seeing an alternative act being treated as a real contender though, rather than being booked for the novelty?
I think we have basically taken the extreme to the mainstream, and I think they are now realizing that stuff can be extreme and alternative and it can still be popular. I think there has been a very weird conception in the UK for a while, that if something is different and alternative then it’s underground, and we are proving that a lot of people like it.  And it’s not just alternative people - and there are a lot of alternative people at that anyway.  So you know the world is changing.

 
In encouraging the public to get behind you, you’ve compared the Circus’ position in Britain’s Got Talent to Lordi’s when they set out to conquer Eurovision, and Rage Against The Machine’s at the start of last year’s Christmas single campaign.  Although the alternative scene is big, it can’t account for all the votes and sales that have made these campaigns a success.  So could it be a public broader frustration with the formulaic and predictable nature of these shows that these acts have, and hopefully now the Circus, give focus to?
Yeah, you’re quite right we’ve had a very.  Music in particular has a very familiar format - the way it’s presented, the way it’s done, the boy bands, the girl bands, the lack of real bands, the singers and stuff, it’s basically had the same formula now for quite a few years.  And when you see that formula being broken by Lordi or by Rage then I think we’ve got a chance of breaking the formula. We’re doing it a different way; they did it purely on the music, we’re combining the music with daredevil circus skills.

I think what has held alternative acts back in Britain’s Got Talent in the past is that they’ve often presented on, specialized skill, and the format of the show requires there to be a market for the winning act at the end. That’s been there for Diversity, but not say. Stevie Starr.
Yeah, I mean we’ve made 3 albums, they’ve all sold reasonably well and continue to, we play reasonably big venues, it might be the case that we can play slightly bigger venues, and in that case sell more records, it might give us more international appeal.  Because although it is Britain’s Got Talent it is widely watched, particularly on YouTube.  We’ve had 200,000 hits YouTube in a  week and a half and we’ve never had hits like that before.  The week we were on we on against Eurovision, when the viewing 10 million was probably slightly less than normal, so you know, this Sunday we would expect more people to see it who perhaps missed the first one and then we’ll really be able to tell.  If we get to the semi finals next week then that really is judgement day.  If we get beyond the semis we will have broken the mould; whether we win it or not.  If you think about it, Stevie Starr or anything alternative has not got beyond the semis. The furthest that anything a bit alternative has got is the semi finals and that’s just been one act.  So if we could just like take it just beyond the semi finals and get into the final that would be remarkable.  It would be remarkable for the fact that people stood by us and voted for us and it would be remarkable for the fact we’re gaining a new audience and making people realize that the extreme can cross over into the mainstream.

And of course if you did it would be a lovely marker for the Circus of Horrors’ upcoming 16th anniversary.
Yes, we’re nearly coming of age!  And to mark that, we’re doing a new show from the autumn onwards called The Ventriloquist, based on an evil ventriloquist’s dummy.  We’ve already commissioned the artwork, which Vince Ray has done for us again, and done a fantastic job as always, and the show is set in Berlin in 1926, so between the world wars, a decadent time, a time of caberet and all that. And the main star of our new show, in which we’ll take over a new cabaret and reap terror, will be an evil ventriloquist’s doll, which takes on a life of its own.

So besides seeing a few Circus favourites appearing in a new setting, can we expect anything totally fresh from this show?
Some of the acts are booked, the girl that fires the bow and arrow with her feet is back, we’ve done a hair hanging act before but we’re going to do something that’s never been seen before in the UK, which is a reverse hair hanging act - where she will be hung by her feet and we’re going to do a trapeze act off her hair. Helmurt has got a new line in sword swallowing lined up, and the idea is we’re going to bring some completely new stuff in.  So in some cases it’ll be acts that have been there before, some new ones, but the ones that have been there before are going to be amazing new things we’ve devised, and you may even get glimpses of some of them on BGT over the next week.  

Finally, any last words of encouragement to SinZine readers to support you in Britain‘s Got Talent?
I’m just hoping that the alternative will let their voice be heard; I know there are enough of them out there because they did it with Rage, they did it with Lordi. I know there’s enough of them out there, so if they just get behind the Circus of Horrors, it’s one last push assuming we get through on Sunday.  We’re all crossing our fingers and let’s be honest, we should get through, we got 3 yeses and a standing ovation so it would be very hard for them to say now that they won’t have us. so we’re hoping now that we’ll get through and get beyond Sunday and if we do then we know we’re in the semi finals next week - and if we are what we need is everybody to watch us and vote for us, to prove that the extreme can rule over the mainstream!

www.circusofhorrors.co.uk