Alyss Abyss
I'm hard to pin down and describe but I'm happiest with crafty, kinky, poly, queer, scientist, writer, singer and model.
I contribute to SinZine and will be mainly writing about BDSM, fetish, "the scene", LGBT, polyamory and music.
I will also be writing the column Ask Auntie Alyss so email your questions for help and advice to alyss.abyss@gmail.com
Website URL: http://alyssabyss.wordpress.com
Weirdo, Mosher, Freak – Should we have to think twice about what we wear?
A Bloodstock festival stage and Illamasqua make-up line are amongst numerous memorials to immortalize Sophia Lancaster on the alt. scene, whilst the tireless efforts of the S.O.P.H.I.E campaign have made her story something of a symbol for the alternative in wider culture. So do we need to talk about this issue again? In the utopia of a 'civilised society' we should never need to, but while intolerance exists and loose cannons in Canada's law enforcement still cite a victim's dress sense as incitement to the violent crime committed against them, the issue always burns. SinZine's Alyss Abyss argues that continuing to promote S.O.P.H.I.E, slutwalks - and the idea that dressing as you desire is a right and not a risky activity - is the only way to ensure there comes a day when showy and subcultural styles are so tolerated that the faces most associated with them are not those of 'weirdoes', 'freaks' and victims of hate crime.
When we get dressed in the morning or for a night out, most of us probably don’t think about the consequences of these outfits much. To go out for a fetish club, you might think about wearing a longer coat to cover your modesty or you might dress a little differently to visit your elderly relatives but, if you typically dress in some kind of alternative style, that’s probably what you’re wearing right now, without a care in the world. I’m sure Sophie Lancaster had that same care-free attitude when she put on an outfit on 11 August 2007 but that would be the last time she would get herself dressed. If you’re unaware of the story, Sophie and her boyfriend, Robert Maltby, were horrifically attacked because of what they were wearing. Both of them identified as Goths and were just minding their own business when they were brutally beaten by a group of other teenagers, just because of what they chose to wear that day. When they started on her boyfriend, Sophie tried to protect him and, in doing so, lost her life. They aren’t even the only ones who have suffered because of this; very recently, a couple where attacked on the Metrolink in Bury, again because of their dress sense. They were luckier and are still with us today but it was a hauntingly familiar story to those who have heard much about poor Sophie.
Some of you might be thinking that people get attacked all the time, for many different reasons and you’d be right but if you get attacked because of the colour of your skin or your sexuality, it’s classed as discrimination but is something like this any different? Sophie’s mum, Sylvia doesn’t think so and she has set up the Sophie Lancaster Foundation and started the Stamp Out Prejudice, Hated and Intolerance Everywhere (S.O.P.H.I.E.) campaign. The charity aims to educate about prejudice against those from alternative subcultures and campaign to have the law changed to include such attacks as Hate Crimes. Those who were close to Sophie don’t want to see her death be in vain and that’s why you can see hundreds of people supporting the excellent work done by the charity by wearing the S.O.P.H.I.E. wristbands and getting involved in other ways such as Bloodstock Open Air festival renaming their second stage to honour Sophie and makeup company Illamasqua donating money from some of their sales to help the charity.
It’s not just Goths who get into difficulties because of what they wear. Earlier this year, Michael Sanguinetti, a Toronto Police officer, suggested that woman should take more care with what they wear to look after their own safety. He said that women should stop dressing like sluts to avoid being raped. There was worldwide outrage at these comments, leading to a series of Slutwalks in cities across the globe. The idea that women are asking for it if they dress provocatively is ridiculous, especially when it’s not only women who are raped. Comments like this don’t help anyone. There is the idea that women are to blame if they are attacked. In contrast, others have suggested it’s just an idea of risk management, saying that the rapist is no less guilty but a woman can reduce her chances of being attacked if she dressed more conservatively.
The question is, should we think more carefully about how we dress? If we dressed in a way to blend in, that doesn’t provoke people, would these attacks cease? Probably not. People will still be attacked for one reason or another. Plus it takes away our freedom of expression, part of who we are. No one should have to change who they are to avoid persecution, whether that be the way they dress, their sexuality or the colour of their skin. There needs to be more education and solidarity across the alternative culture. The Sophie Lancaster Foundation is doing a lot of work to help this and the SlutWalks promoted another important point. We should be able to live in a society where we can be who we want to be and so I walk proudly down the street in my knee high Docs, short skirt and lots of black, wearing my S.O.P.H.I.E. wristband, hoping that, one day, ganging up on someone for dressing like a ‘freak’ and calling them mosher in a derogatory way will be seen as badly as using the N word or attacking a same sex couple for holding hands.
Where to find out more & get involved:
Three (or more) Can Play at that Game – Polyamory and BDSM
Married but "pretty much" identifying as a lesbian and getting her kinky kicks playing both top and bottom, Alyss Abyss is a self-confessed "greedy cow" when it comes to sex and romance. In this article, she describes how polyamory caters to the desires of a girl with more fetishes than one partner can fulfil - as well as those of her husband and her girlfriend, and also offers advice from experience to readers wanting to have their cake and eat it.
It's not really a surprise that I'm writing an article about polyamory and how it fits into my life, including its context within a BDSM setting as I've been interested in some sort of poly lifestyle since I was 18. Firstly, though, I feel I should define poly in its many forms before talking about my personal lifestyle.
Poly can refer to many types of relationship setup, although, in simple terms, it refers to having multiple partners. People who describe themselves as polyamorous are referring to loving more than one person. There are other terms such as ethical non-monogamy, which incorporate the grey areas of poly, including multiple play partners in a kink setting, having friends with benefits, having an open relationship and all other kinds of multiple partner relationship. The difference between poly and cheating is that people are in full knowledge of the setup they are within. Everyone should be open and honest. It’s an ethical setup. Like all relationships, there are ups and downs, good things and bad, and it’s not for everyone but I’m going to talk to you about my experiences and thoughts, with some insight from my friends, partners and acquaintances.
If you’ve read my other pieces, you’ll have probably realised by now that I am an ethical non-monogamist. I have two romantic relationships that have no hierarchy and both my husband and my girlfriend mean the world to me. I get to share my love with them both and not feel the confinement of monogamy. It also means that, even though I pretty much identify as a lesbian, I don’t have to cheat or leave my husband to satisfy my desires to be with women. Sure, I don’t have to have more than him in my life but I also know I won’t ever look back in regret either. It’s not always been easy; when I was younger, I found polyamory very difficult and thought I wasn’t cracked up for it, that I was too jealous, too needy and too dependant for it to work. Looking back, I think it was more about me needing to grow up and develop emotionally, as well as possibly to do with the person involved but, at the time, I was sure it wasn’t for me so tried to get my bisexuality out of my system before I got married as I fully intended to be monogamous and faithful. Clearly not the best idea. When I met my girlfriend, it was a huge adjustment to my previous way of thinking but most things came quite naturally and, generally, it’s been quite easy.
What never occurred to me when I was younger was how this could benefit my kinky desires too. I supposed I’d never really thought that hard about kink either. Over recent years, I have identified as a switch, knowing that I like to give and receive. My husband is generally a top. He’s not a masochist either really. Another thing that I could just ignore but why not explore my own sadistic top side? My girlfriend is also a switch and when we got together, we were both very open to seeing where the dynamic went, both of us thinking we could maybe get the best of both worlds from each other….how wrong could we be?! As time has passed, it has become more and more obvious that we cannot switch with each other. Again, I have found myself in the position of bottom and, more recently, submissive. I get different things from each of them, as my dynamics vary a lot. For example, the mere thought of being submissive with my husband has me in fits of giggles. It also makes sense that he himself has a second partner where his dynamic is very different; he’s still a top but a different kind with her, in ways that I would not want from him and can’t give him. We don’t just expect one person to be our all and we all benefit from this lack of pressure. Still, you might be thinking that I’m a switch with no one of my own to abuse and that is true, although maybe not for much longer! I wasn’t looking for someone else to fill a gap; I don’t even feel it desperately needs filling but when someone approached me, I talked to my partners and we agreed; why not? So I may have found myself a play partner. It’s still at its fledgling stages and we’ve not played together yet but, if all goes well, I will have a bottom of my own to abuse.
It’s not all about having different people for different things in my life either. Or about keeping it all separate either. I am very lucky to have two tops who get on well and compliment each other because then I have the times that we will all play together and they co-top with each other. My most recent experience of this was at a play event whilst on holiday in San Francisco (an amazing city for kink). We often attend events together and don’t always play but, seeing as we were on holiday we thought it best to make use of a dedicated venue that we just don’t have an equivalent to here in the UK. I can’t speak for them but it was hot as hell playing with both of them; my exhibitionist side was satisfied, the modest part of me was embarrassed (in a kinky way) and I got to feel like a princess with attention focused on me from more than one person, albeit a very abused, battered and bruised one. Without poly in my life, I just wouldn’t have mind blowing experiences like this, with the added fact I love both of them just making it more awesome! They also seem to really enjoy plotting together and have said it can be a help having an extra pair of hands to deal with me!
It doesn’t always work out though; there can by times that you want to play with everyone but you can’t. I have both my girlfriend and my prospective play partner going to the same play party and I’d love to play with both of them but don’t want to spread myself too thinly, plus I just don’t think I can switch from top to bottom headspace that quickly. There are people who will play as middles, being ordered to do bad things to another and I could see this working but not in this situation. It can also be tough if you have different dynamics with your partners. It’s not happened with me yet but if, as a submissive, you are under orders, that can cause problems for the other top in your life, depending what those orders are. Or it can be even more fun. It’s all about communication!
Now, I’m sure some of you are thinking that I’m just a bit of a greedy cow, or a jammy bastard or having my cake and eating it and I suppose you’d be right but at least I’m doing this in a respectful, open and honest manner. I spend time worrying that I could be hurting people, I have my guilty moments where I wonder if I’m spreading myself too thinly and not giving enough to those I care about but I’d like to think that anyone I’m involved with would be honest enough to let me know. Communication is key to this working and having to be open and honest, not only with yourself but by those around you too. It’s not always easy but no relationship is.
This is all just my personal experience; talk to others on the scene and they may have very different ones. I am very lucky and this set up works for me. I don’t expect it would work for everyone; some people want to experience everything with one person. Others want to experience things that one partner cannot give them, if it’s a limit for them or just something they don’t want to do. For instance, I’ve heard people tell me they have a rope top and a daddy; they get what they want from different people. Or you may be in a vanilla relationship but know that kink is important to you. As long as everyone is open and honest and knows where they stand, I think it is ok. We’re all consenting adults at the end of the day. If you’re thinking of opening up your relationship for the first time though, whether just for play or more emotionally than that, I’d really recommend reading some stuff out there. There’s some very good books, podcasts, blogs and other resources out there if you do a quick internet search or I’m more than happy to give you my personal recommendations.
Rosie Lugosi - Manchester's own Vampire Queen
Singer, performer, poet, compare; these are just some of the roles the great Rosie Lugosi undertakes. As the singer in goth favourites, The March Violets, frequently performing at the Whitby Goth Weekend and a regular face on the burlesque and fetish scenes across Europe, Rosie is an awe-inspiring woman who has defeated throat cancer, survived being shot at and avoided a stalker. Alyss Abyss talked to this talented and friendly woman.
You were originally a singer in goth band, The March Violets. What's the story behind those early days?
Leeds. The March Violets strummed their first riff and scrawled their first set list in 1981. I was dodging bombs that went off in my street as the North of England welcomed the arrival of Thatcher in its customary forthright style. The 80s wasn’t all fluffy Flock of Seagulls. The 80s was also about seeing homeless beggars on the streets of the UK for the first time for 100 years, the Miners’ Strike, endemic police corruption, the Yorkshire Ripper, and the Tories selling England by the pound.
We didn’t know we were goth – the word wasn’t stapled to the music till years after. We didn’t know we were at the forefront of this new dark wave –we were just writing songs. Yes, they were grimy and pissed off.
Was it an important time in your life and why?
Despite all of the above, I felt like I was in the best place in the world to be alive. There was this new scene that had no name: anything could happen, and felt like it would, any minute now. It was a jumble of punk, glamour, romanticism, death, darkness and glitter. Hard to believe it was happening in that mix for the first time – I felt like I’d come home.
I was also dealing with coming out - bang in the middle of 80s feminism, when a ‘real’ dyke had cropped hair, wore dungarees, and had nothing to do with the Enemy (men). As a kinky female with big hair, lipstick, a lot of male friends and a penchant for tight leather pants my timing was absolutely appalling…
When the band split, did you know you'd want to continue performing?
I’ve been onstage since I was five! My first performance was the Elf Queen in infants’ school. All that dressing up: discovering how you could transform yourself into a fairy queen, a bloodthirsty pirate or a dashing prince with the aid of yards of shiny fabric. I’ve never looked back. At the age of 15 I formed a band with the other weird kids in my school. We played metal covers and were absolutely awful. I loved every minute.
There has never been a time when I haven’t performed - nor will there ever come a time when I stop. You’ll have to carry me offstage in a box. It’s more than just in my blood, it’s in my bone marrow: take apart my DNA and you’ll find it embedded on the cellular level. Even throat cancer hasn’t kept me down.
When was Rosie Lugosi, the vampire queen, first conceived as your performance persona and why?
If you’re different, you stand out. It doesn’t matter whether that ‘difference’ is queer, goth, geek, different religion, square peg in round hole, whatever. If you stand out as a kid, it’s tough. It’s hard work swimming against the overwhelming sludge of normality.
Rosie Lugosi is my ‘don’t care / kick ass / unshakeable’ response to that experience of growing up different.
I’ve been tantalising audiences with my unique blend of poetic perversion, camp humour, mayhem and song for ten years; performing twisted parodies of Andy Williams, Shirley Bassey and Gloria Gaynor (to name a few poor victims) in a vamp-goth-fetish style. As for why - Vampires are erotic, and unconventional, and the ultimate outsiders. They exist outside society; challenging & outraging, yet fascinating it. This is at the heart of my act.
Rosie Lugosi is defiant and transgressive, predatory vampiric villainess who never gets staked. She is six foot tall in six-inch stilettos, clad in rubber catsuit and sparkly corset, top hat, fangs and hoisted cleavage and gets to say all the things we are not supposed to say, wear the things we aren’t supposed to wear.
by Holly Fairclough
What prompted you to start publishing your writing?
People kept asking me where they could get copies of my work! I hate to disappoint.
I’ve been incredibly lucky – I’ve got four solo collections of poetry and my short stories have been widely anthologised. I’ve been featured in Mslexia and Succour magazines and this year I’ve been on the front cover of Dominion and Ascension. I’m also in the Xmas 2011 Good Housekeeping magazine. I am not kidding.
Are you happiest when you are writing or performing and why?
They are very different and satisfy different parts of myself. If I didn’t love every second on stage I wouldn’t bloody do it. If I wasn’t compelled to write, I wouldn’t keep at it in the bloody-minded way that I do. If writing didn’t make me feel healthy on a profound level, I’d run out of steam after a while. I’m certainly not in it for the millions…
You've won many awards, for both your writing and performances. Which are you most proud of and why?
I’ve won the Erotic Oscar Award for Performance Artist of the Year, the Diva Award for Solo Performer (when I polled more votes than Kylie Minogue) and the Dada Award for Performance Art.
Sure, I could list the ‘big’ events, the ‘big’ wins, the ‘biggest’ audiences, the ‘biggest’ festivals, the most exotic locations. But sometimes it’s the smaller events that make the impact. For example, last year I was really proud to win a People’s Poetry Award from The Bread Is Rising, a grassroots group of Latino poets based in Harlem, New York.
Your performances are a little different to most of the current cabaret and burlesque. Where do you take your inspiration from?
I’ve worked with some absolutely superb acts in the UK, Europe and USA. There are a vast number of burlesque performers out there and a lot of them are fantastic. Sadly, some folk think that being able to remove their bra without falling over makes them a dancer. It doesn’t.
Rosie Lugosi is not a generic, copycat act. If you’re sitting uncomfortably, then we’ll begin! Rosie Lugosi is the radical lesbian feminist, dominatrix, bitch goddess, top femme, cropwhipping, bodiceripping, arsekicking, bloodsucking, nightcreeping, neversleeping, tonguelashing, taboosmashing vampire queen. And that’s as close as I get to compromise…
Rosie Lugosi is a Frankenstein creation sewn together from worst nightmares and wildest dreams, all the murky things we’re not supposed to think about. Asking questions we are not supposed to ask.
In many respects, Rosie Lugosi is a drag act. I’m a female drag queen - a woman who dresses up as an extreme example of what a woman is supposed to look like. I challenge the tensions that women feel about how “real” women are represented in society/media.
Sure, some people only see the ‘shiny showgirl’ side of Rosie Lugosi. I see her as a femme Trojan Horse, a stealth queer guerrilla. Ok, it’s not the most original thought in the universe, but humour can ease the delivery of uncomfortable messages. And my messages are uncomfortable – as are those of anyone who is making a stand against the rise of the religious right, the startling resurgence of anti-Semitism, the demonisation of Muslims, queers, and anyone else who is different, like I said before.
If you’re only getting your message over to those who already agree, (and alienating those who don’t) then it can’t be much of a message. Or it’s self-indulgence. Whatever. I want to change minds, not confirm prejudices, and that feels like a harder job.
What prompted The March Violets to reform and are you enjoying working with the guys again?
It’s great. One of the pleasant surprises getting back together with Si and Tom was discovering how well we get on. I like these guys!
We got back in touch in 2007, and there was some on-off talk of a reunion. But we had no idea if anyone out there was interested. After all, it was 25 years since the last March Violets gig. We decided to do a one-off show, record some new tracks and see how it was received. If no-one had turned up, that would have been a clear answer! It was an astonishing success. To this day we haven’t seen or heard a bad review. Or even a lukewarm review. That’s a hell of an achievement – people were pleased to see us back. Very pleased indeed.
Following the 2007 Homecoming gig and the Trinity EP we received a slew of offers to perform at festivals and gigs all over the UK and Europe – and then I got throat cancer. Which put everything on hold somewhat. It’s taken me a long time to get healthy, and it’s been bloody hard work. The show in 2010 at the O2 Academy in London was by way of a return. Pretty damn fine return it was too. In 2011 we’ve played all over the UK and Europe – here’s to 2012.
You are often involved with LGBT and sex positive events. Is it important to you to show your support?
I’ve always found myself writing about outsiders; whoever they might be. I’m interested in characters who won’t (or can’t) squeeze into the one-size-fits-all templates they have been provided, and the friction that occurs when they try. I’ve always been an outsider myself; a square peg from the word go. Again, that’s far from unique: so many creative people I know feel out-of-sync with what is expected.
You are part of the team who run Club Lash, which has been going strong for over 13 years. What do you think makes it a success?
Club Lash has always been organised by women - of a wide variety of sexualities. Way back in 1997 myself and three other fetish gals got tired of having nowhere to go. We couldn't believe that there was nothing for us in Manchester. Also, we wanted something extra, something sleaze-free and somewhere women would want to go. My experience of fetish clubs up to that point was a 75% male clientele and getting pestered by dodgy blokes. The result was that we set up Club Lash. Our female management is one of the secrets of our success. Women automatically feel safer at an event that’s run by women. And if women feel safe, then it follows that everyone else does too. So we are unusual in having a 50-50 gender balance.
From the start we set out to have an enjoyable, welcoming, inclusive and friendly night. We have a truly eclectic mix of punters – gay/straight (and all points in between), women/men (and all points in between, and there are many), black/white, young/old, disabled/able bodied… you name it, we get ‘em. We can’t think of another club in Manchester where you could get such a mix of people and have them all getting on with each other so well. Neither are we a fashion-victim club that is full of white 20-somethings in the latest expensive rubber gear: and we are proud to have great DJs who don’t limit their playlist to sodding techno.
Do you have any tips for those wishing to make a name for themselves as alternative performers?
I’m never sure about offering ‘tips’! Why on earth would anyone be interested? It’s only my opinion, and everyone’s entitled to their own. That said, here goes: when faced with a decision, I ask myself the question – how long will I be dead? It helps get me off my arse. I have always been a bit of a ‘if not now, when?’ gal, and cancer sure put things in startlingly clear perspective. There’s nothing like getting a glimpse of your sell-by date to provide a boot up the backside.
Time spent playing computer games is time you’ll never get back. Go write a poem, or start a new club, or form a band, or knit a new manifesto. That’s it folks.
Scroll right down for a video!
Soapbox - Femme Invisibility
Exasperated by seeing her femme girlfriend greeted by suspicion at allegedly gay-friendly nightspots, Alyss Abyss steps up to the Soapbox to ask why a girl‘s world can be such a tough place for a girly girl?
Readers feeling peeved - by pet hate, problem that affects us all, or anything in between - can occupy SinZine’s angry spot by sending a 500 word rant to
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. Go on, it feels good to share.
Why do you give her a look that says, “You don’t belong here”? Or even worse, look straight through her, assuming she plays for the other side? Why does she feel like an intruder in the gay bars when she’s got every right to be there? Why does she feel invisible when she’s one of the most stunning women in the room?
I’m talking about all the gorgeous femmes out there, the ones that don’t want to dress like the stereotypes imply. Those that like pretty clothes and wear makeup and aren’t afraid of their femininity. My beautiful girlfriend is one of them; a girl that I can’t believe I get to be on the arm of. And yet she gets a surprised look off many when she says she’s a lesbian.
She’s not about to exchange her heels for sensible Docs or her dresses for dungarees but she’s still sad that, because she doesn’t confirm to a stereotype, even other dykes fail to see her as one of them. She’s a little bit scared of the local lesbian bar, in case people question her credentials and look at her like she’s out of place.
Why should she though? These wonderful femmes should be celebrated for who they are. They shouldn’t be told, “There’s no way you’re a lesbian”. They shouldn’t have to fight to be noticed. They should be accepted as part of our diverse community.
Dungeon Mistress Extraordinaire – An interview with Rebekka Raynor
From the fetish clubs of Edinburgh to Club AntiChrist's own Devil's Playroom, professional dominatrix Rebekka Raynor has bound, scolded and whipped the best, and most badly behaved, into line! Alyss Abyss quizzed AntiChrist's house mistress on job satisfaction, what to expect in the dungeon, and dream dinner party guests.
As the resident dungeon mistress of Club Antichrist, do you have any advice for people new to BDSM or public play?
I would definitely recommend research before playing in public, especially if playing for the first time. There is standard etiquette on the scene (don’t stand right beside other players, be aware of what is going on around you if swinging a flogger, don’t take pictures etc). Also, no matter where you are playing when first venturing into it, learn how to do so safely. If you and your partner like the idea of rope bondage then find out places on the body not to tie (such as around joints or over the neck). If corporal punishment rocks your boat, educate yourself on the most sensitive and receptive areas (usually where the buttocks meets the thighs, known as the “sweet spot”). It’s also important to note that what you imagine in fantasy does not always translate into reality as intended, and to merge those two elements closer together takes a combination of communication, time and practice.
What does your role entail during the club night?
My role is House Mistress – which is everything from advising couples who ask various styles of play, demonstrations to spanking beautiful goth boys. I don’t know how I survive at times... There are also three other dungeon monitors who do a wonderful job. Anyone is free to ask any one of us queries about BDSM, the scene, other events or even to find someone to play with.
What do you think attracts people to the club?
As it’s geared towards goths who are first delving into the fetish scene, I’d say that 80% are there for the bands, shows, music and throwing shapes and 20% for the dungeon. There are quite a lot of crossovers though. A massive reason why it’s fabulous to go to is that there are very few limits on what you can do there. If you want to dance naked to VNV Nation – that’s fine. If you want to receive cunnilingus while watching Deviant UK – fire away. So long as what you do in not intruding or unwelcome, be my guest. In addition to the openness of attitude, the level of effort a lot of people put in to what they wear is quite inspiring.
How did you get involved in professional domination?
I’d been playing in my private life for a few years before visiting my first fetish club in Edinburgh called DV8, which is still running. Through that I met some lovely people and started visiting the other three clubs that were around at the time. I eventually met a lady who is long since retired and thought upon the bizarre notion of hiring her dungeon to make a living out of something that I enjoyed doing anyway. I went self employed, learned everything I could about the business (subsequently I found half of this to be inaccurate), unlearned it and did what felt best. After I moved to the rather larger city of London I spent time investigating commercial dungeons and clubs and threw myself in at the deep end.
.JPG "Rebekka raynor by Ma-X Fetish Shooting")
by Ma-X Fetish Shooting
Describe a typical day in the life of Mistress Rebekka
My working week can be very erratic because I have several freelance jobs, so no day is typical. But the make up of my week will involve a heady mixture of sessions, having my house cleaned by a pretty maid, an insane amount of email and research, tango, arranging things for various events and a beginners attempt at tai chi.
Do you see being a mistress as just a job and do you leave it all behind when you go home at night or is it part of your lifestyle?
BDSM is a part of my lifestyle and sexuality, so it’s wonderful that I can incorporate what I enjoy into making a living. It’s hardly like work at all to me. It’s a part of my personal life and I cannot imagine having a relationship with a vanilla.
What are the best and worst parts of the job?
The worst part is because I’m in the dungeon for the vast majority of the evening, I miss all the stage shows and bands at AC! The best part is the direct interactions with people. It is incredibly rewarding and invigorating to fulfil via your own, the therapeutic fantasies that some people have held on to for years or decades and not been able to express. Another event I’m involved in is the Erotica Ball which is catered towards relatively normal couples who have tasted the scene for the first time. During that night I’d normally tutor 5-10 couples who want to play but do not necessarily know how. One woman even climaxed during me flogging her, that being her first time receiving corporal punishment. Needless to say, her husband learned a few new things for the bedroom. And of course the slaves who suffer for me, for I do enjoy beating them up.
by Other World Kingdom
How did you learn the tricks of the trade? Are there particular books or people that taught you?
I have read countless articles and a great number of ‘how to’ books, and the only common factor in all of them was safety. The tricks of the trade I learnt the long way through experience and experimentation. There was no one person who taught me and no one book I can recommend.
You're holding a dinner party and can invite anyone you like, including the dearly departed. Who would be top on your list and why?
Stephen Fry, Richard Branson, Oscar Wilde, David Mitchell, Jean-Luc Picard and Derren Brown. As to why, they are a mixture of who I consider to be the greatest minds who have influenced me over the years. If any of these men were Prime Minister then this country would be sorted. I would possibly tag on Data to entertain me once everyone else had gone home...
You can visit Rebekka's website here: www.rebekkaraynor.com
Soapbox - Biphobia
Having herself come out just to be informed bisexuals are simply greedy lovers, Alyss Abyss wonders how - if the above is true - there can be seemingly so little love in reserved in either hetro or queer quarters for those who want it both ways.
If there's a subject that's making you sick, then the Soapbox is the place to unload! Give us your greivances in 500 words or less to
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and we'll give them a platform.
For a long time, I’ve known that I’m attracted to both men and women. I’m currently at a point where it’s mainly just women that I’m attracted to but, deep down, I know I’m bisexual. Yet, look at my various online profiles and I will identify myself as queer or gay or lesbian or dyke or anything that will avoid the B word. That’s because I’ve managed to internalise a phobia for it, based on other people’s reactions to that word. I was a member of my university LGBT society but was too scared to tell them about my boyfriend, in case they decided I wasn’t one of them. I avoided hanging out in lesbian bars because I was scared they’d treat me like an outcast because I happen to like boys too. I’ve been called greedy, been told that I’ll make my mind up one day, that I’m sitting on the fence, have had people imply that I was only with women to titillate the men around me and, in general, look down on my sexuality. Various straight people said it was just a phase and I was saying it because I wanted to be cool. ‘How do you know?’ was what I was asked when I came out at school. Is fancying women not enough? Even now, I’m scared to out myself to various people. I’m a new member of my local LGBT choir and they know about my girlfriend but I’m scared to mention the man in my life, for fear of not fitting in.
For a minority group, you’d think we’d stick together but there are definitely people out there who seem to think the B doesn’t belong. If I’m with a man, I’m obviously straight and have no right to include myself in the LGBT community and if I’m with a woman, I must have made up my mind and be a lesbian. What if I was with no one? Would that make me asexual? And just because I’m polyamorous and happen to have a male and female partner, is that the only way I can use the word bisexual? Should I feel so scared of alienation that I can’t even bring myself to identify with a certain label? Of course I shouldn’t but, unfortunately, there is a lot of prejudice against bisexual people and very few people willing to fit in that corner (and I really respect those who do). I have moved on with my sexual identity but it would have been a lot easier if I’d not been scared into avoiding the B word.
Further Reading:
www.bisexualindex.org.uk/index.php/Bisexuality
www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/bisexual.html
Illustration by Chris Getliffe
Delving into the Mind – An interview with AlterRed
The name AlterRed should be a familiar one to many readers of Sinzine, with band members being regulars at Club Antichrist and their unique stage show being hotly talked about across the industrial/EBM scene. Having just released their debut album, it seemed like the perfect time to delve into the mind of Mr AlterRed himself.
Your debut album, 'Mind-Forged Manacles', was a long time in the making. What were the reasons for this and do you think the next album will take this long?
Yeah, I essentially went back to the drawing board a lot while the sound was developing with the live shows. Initially the album was finished at the end of 2009 but, as time went on I realised that the sound was evolving live and becoming a lot more stylised and individual. If the album had been released back then I don’t doubt I’d have regretted it shortly after. The second album is pretty much written and is about to go into mixing, so that should be out within a year of album one. The advantage now is that we’re playing live a lot and have a firm foundation with album one, so a lot of the development has happened along the way.
Did any of the early work survive the album making process?
Oh definitely. Songs like 'Sex, Death or Money', 'Amphetamine Chic' and 'One of my Mornings' didn’t change at all, but I think these were exceptions to the rule as they pretty much had their own, individual styles to them.
You've been in several bands previously. Is AlterRed the evolution of these bands or have you started from scratch?
I’ve pretty much been the principle songwriter in all the bands I’ve been in so, from a song-writing point of view, there’s a noticeable evolution from my first release through to Mind-forged Manacles. Also, I hate letting a good idea go! There are a few songs that I’ve taken back to the drawing board and re-written and reproduced, and they’ve worked out well for it.
Who are your biggest influences?
Wow, that’s a question with a very broad answer. My influences are as much from movies, novels and comics as they are from music. But if I had to make a brief list, I’d say Depeche Mode, Bowie, Jane’s Addiction, Mike Garson then Christopher Nolan, Zack Snyder, Darren Aranofski, Tim Burton & Ridley Scott then Clive Barker, Philip K Dick, Christopher Hitchens then Jeff Loeb, Mark Millar, Alan Moore and Grant Morrison. To skim the surface!
What inspires you to write music?
Mood I suppose. A friend once told me that an album is the soundtrack to a mood. Of course an album is so much more but I really love that notion. The songs themselves are based on extreme feelings and pushing one’s mind to the limits, be it with drugs, love, hate, ambition, science, religion… whatever it is that drives the individual.
The live experience is a very theatrical one. Do you have any particular reasons for developing such an original stage show?
I’m sure you’ll agree that there’s nothing more boring than a live show with nothing to see. I think about some of the best live shows I’ve ever seen and they’ve all been visual spectacles. Alice Cooper, WASP, Marilyn Manson, Jane’s Addiction then Erasure, Apoptygma Berzerk, CombiChrist, Rammstein…all brilliant live shows with a flair for the theatrical. Then there are shows like Rocky Horror, Repo: The Genetic Opera and Sweeny Todd. I really love the idea of our live show carrying a narrative all the way through the show whilst allow the music room to shine, too.
If you were only allowed to use five words to describe the band, what would they be?
Black, Red, Live, Electro, Insanity
You're a regular at Club Antichrist. What do you think makes it so successful and what keeps you coming back for more?
It just has something weird and wonderful for every brand of freak. I love it!
The world's ending and you can save AlterRed and one other band. Who would it be and why?
Hmmm, tricky (not Tricky… love him but he’s not top of my list… I mean that’s tricky!). Bowie I suspect. The man’s a total musical chameleon with a seemingly limitless capacity for style!
What do you hope to be doing in five years time?
Haha! I don’t think musicians should be allowed to think five years in advance… they might end up not bothering to do anything!
For music and more see www.alterred.co.uk
YouTube links :
Fleshbind
So You Think You're Kinky?
It doesn’t matter where that feeling has come from but you have an urge to do something more about the longing to be tied up, spank people or whatever little kinky ideas have sprung up in your mind. This feature will give you some hints and tips on how to start out, where to find more information and what’s out there on the ‘scene’ for you.
It all begins somewhere. Maybe you remember tying up your teddy bears or liking being ordered around. Maybe you watched 'Secretary' and fancied being spanked (or spanking someone). Or maybe you’ve seen people playing at Antichrist and want to know more about it all. In my case, I’ve always been a little kinky and probably can’t place what it was that had me curious, apart from my persistent obsession with ‘Allo ‘Allo! In any case, it doesn’t really matter what triggered that interest, what's more important is what you do with it.
A lot of people are kinky, whether it be because they like to play dress up, role play in the bedroom, enjoy using implements of torture, or all three! For some people, it’s a big part of their lives, myself being one of them. My interest in kink has led me to new friends, new places to go out and a wonderful girlfriend. Other people keep it in the bedroom, and there’s nothing wrong with that either. I’m going to cover things in this article for those who want to get out there and become part of the ‘scene’, and also offer some pointers that will help you if you want to keep things a little more private.
First things first: some very basic terminology. Hopefully, future articles will cover more of this kind of thing, and in greater depth, but there are a few things you may want to think about as you’re first starting out.
Top, bottom or switch?– this is a huge consideration and there’s no right answer. In general terms, a top is the person who is in control, the giver. There are some other words we use to describe tops such as dominant, dom, domme, master, mistress (the list goes on). A bottom is on the receiving end and can also be known as a sub, submissive, slave etc. A switch is someone who both tops and bottoms, although not always doing both with the same person or all the time. I describe myself as a switch as I enjoy both giving and receiving but I’m mainly a bottom at the moment, just because of how things have worked out with the people I’m playing with. You may not know where you fit in to this right now, or you may start out as one thing and actually realise you lean more towards the other side of things. Whatever your leanings, there is still plenty to learn about.
BDSM– what does it all mean? There are several variations on this abbreviation but they tend to all be getting at the same idea, and most people use the term relatively interchangeably with kink. For me, it refers to bondage, domination, sado-masochism. There are lots of different areas and dynamics to explore and there’s no right or wrong thing to be interested in, as long as it’s consensual for everyone involved. There are people who live 24/7 dom/sub relationships, those that like practising intricate bondage, some that see themselves more as a sadist or a masochist and lots of other variations in between. The options are wide and varying.
So, you’ve got some ideas forming in your mind. What do you do next? I think it’s a good idea to go out there and find out some more information about what you’re interested in. There are some great resources out there and they can often be a spring board for your mind. There are some excellent books available and some great websites (I’ve suggested a few in a resources section at the end of the article). There’s also the possibility of getting out there and meeting some real people. I’ll go into this further in a minute, but I just want to say that you don’t have to be out on the ‘scene’ to be kinky. If you’re happy to play with your partner in the bedroom and take it no further, that’s great, but you still need to think about what you’re doing and whether you’re doing it safely and consensually. Read some books, visit some websites, communicate with your partner and take care. Negotiation and discussion are important parts of being kinky, not just the act of whatever you might enjoy. Everyone has limits and boundaries and you need to talk about what these are and where they lie. It’s worth taking things slowly at first and building up whatever style of play you have. Your partner may not be new to kink - they could be able to teach you a thing or two, or you could both be new to this. Either way, take the time to find out things for yourself and don’t feel you have to rush in at the deep end.
If you want to get out there and meet people, there are so many different types of events to consider. Depending on where you live, you may have to travel a little to find something you want to go to, but generally, if you live in or near a relatively big city, there will be at least some kind of fetish/kink event where you can meet people. I’m not going to try to list actual events here - there are plenty of websites that have calendars on them, but I will try to give an overview of the different types, my personal experience with them, and what I feel they offer.
One of the least scary options is going to a munch. These are usually set in bars/pubs/cafes, with the group recognisable by the A-Z on the table and you can just wear your normal everyday clothes and get to meet people in an easy going, safe environment. In Manchester alone, there is at least one munch a week with a different range of people going to each one and I know the same is true of many cities. Generally, there is the ability to contact one of the organisers and meet up with them early if you’re a little bit shy or nervous. I was lucky and found a group I clicked with straight away but, even if you go to one munch and don’t enjoy it, possibly give others a try as it might just have something to do with the mix of people rather than a dislike of munches all together. In my experience, people go to munches to meet like-minded people and have a gossip and chat. People are normally very welcoming of others fresh to the ‘scene’, so newcomers have little to worry about. I don’t recommended going to a munch solely to look for play partners, but that’s not to say you won’t click with someone there (I met my girlfriend at my very first munch!). Munches are a good place to talk to people about kink, although remember to be polite at all times. Saying to someone “why the hell do you do that, that’s disgusting!” will not generally go down well.
Most cities also hold fetish nights at clubs and play parties. I’ve already written a guide to your first night out and recommend you read it if you are interested in this aspect of the scene. They can be a good place to get ideas of what kind of things you want to do, but maybe not the best place to chat to someone in depth. You will often realise who’s been on the ‘scene’ for a while and who’s respected within it and this can be quite useful to know as these are often the people who you can gain the most from watching and interacting with.
Some areas have kinky or kink friendly community or support groups, usually for a certain subgroup within the ‘scene’ such as LGBT groups. These groups often hold meetings with little more direction than munches, such as discussion nights or workshops, and also often organise other events for the community such as conferences. My personal favourite group is SMDykes in Manchester who, as well as holding monthly meetings, organise the only women’s conference in the country where they hold workshops and play events, as well as a kinky auction.
Other places to meet kink friendly people are fetish fairs such as the London Fetish Fair or Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar. Here you will get the chance to see and buy toys as well as meet others, possibly see demonstrations and there’s often a play event at the end of the day. I went to events like this early on in my kinky ‘career’ and I remember how daunting the variety of toys and equipment was, but everyone was so friendly I soon got over my initial nerves. Stall holders are quite often more than happy to show you different pieces of equipment and how things work and there’s never any harm in asking questions, as long as you remember to do so politely. Even if you go just to look around and soak up the atmosphere rather than snap up the expensive toys, you could still return home inspired to improvise! Household implements used in place of costly 'real' toys are often referred to as ‘pervertables’, and there's no shortage of them in the average home. For example, a wooden spoon makes a perfectly good spanking implement and cheap pegs are just as good as ones designed especially for use on the body. Kinky doesn’t have to mean expensive.
If you find social situations hard, there are always online communities giving you the chance to interact with people. There are some that are especially geared for the kink community, both UK-based and international, and then there are places like The Alternative Community, attracting a range of users, including those who enjoy kink. I have some tips for these sites that may help you get the most from them without annoying your fellow users:
1 If you have the ability to do so, fill in a profile as fully as you can. This information is really useful to have up there, as long as you’re honest. People want to know a little about you. You’ll probably also have the ability to put up a profile picture. You don’t have to have one that’s very personal to you but it’s nice to have something.
2 If you contact people directly through chat or private messages, be polite and respectful. Read their profile carefully and make it clear what you’re intentions are. I get a lot of messages off random men who I’ve never met who have clearly never read my profile; it’s maddening and I often won’t reply at all.
3 Use your common sense when taking advice from others. There will probably be some kind of open forum/group discussion threads and anyone can be posting; you have no idea about the credibility of their information.
4 If you’re posting questions, try to be as clear as possible and hopefully you will gain some helpful responses.
5 If you’re using the site to meet people as potential partners, always use common sense about meeting strangers and let someone know where you are going. You don’t want to get yourself into trouble.
Once you’re meeting people within the community, you may find yourself in a position to gain a mentor. This can be quite a wonderful thing to have as you will learn from someone who has a lot of experience but, again, be a little wary and ask around to find out the person’s credibility. You don’t want to be learning from someone who others deem unsafe.
I could go on for a while about all of this, but there is really no right way to be kinky (although there are some wrong ones). This is definitely not a 'complete' article covering everything to do with the ‘scene’, and is intended as a starting point for you and your journey into the world of kink! However, if you have any questions or suggestions for items you want to see featured in the future, just pop an email to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it with the title “Ask Auntie Alyss”.
Resources:
This is by no means an exhaustive list but some of my personal recommendations. There are plenty more suggestions out there for books to read and places to visit
Books:
The New Topping Book - http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1890159360/1183
The New Bottoming Book – http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1890159352/1183
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction - http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0963976389/1183
How to be Kinky: A Beginner's Guide to BDSM - http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1931160635/1183
Websites:
The Alternative Community – http://www.thealternativecommunity.com
Informed Consent – http://www.informedconsent.co.uk
Fetlife – http://www.fetlife.com
Kink Academy – http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=942299-0000&PA=2240300
Munches, groups and events:
A good list I have found, although not complete:
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/uk/munches/all/
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/uk/club_events/all/
http://www.londonfetishscene.com/
http://www.londonfetishfair.co.uk/
http://www.londonalternativemarket.com/
http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/
Unlucky For Some – Thirteen Firsts with Mechanical Cabaret
As part of the lead up to Club Antichrist’s 7th birthday celebration, SinZine is featuring interviews with acts performing on the night. This installment charts the thirteen 'Famous Firsts' of Roi Robertson - creator, vocalist and driving force in London electronica act Mechanical Cabaret. Read on to discover how Robertson popped some pivotal musical cherries, and how these formative experiences influenced his performances with Mechanical Cabaret.
What was the first thing that caused Mechanical Cabaret to be created?
The glint in my mother and father’s eyes. And my love of synthesizers, punk and electronic music, and showing off in front of people.
Which was the first song you wrote?
It was about a Hypermarket in France that I went to when I was 14. It described a shop and what was in it, and how odd I found it to be in general. The shop, that is, not France.
What was your first gig experience as a punter?
My first ever gig experience was seeing Depeche Mode at Newport Center on the 1st UK date of the Music For The Masses Tour on Saturday January 9th 1988. Another of my fav groups at the time, Hard Corps, were supporting them. It was very very loud, and very hot and sweaty. I was down the front one row from the barrier in the middle, and I loved every single second of it - my voice had totally gone at the end of the gig, from me singing along so much and so hard!
Where was Mechanical Cabaret’s first gig?
My 1st Mechanical Cabaret gig was at Gossips on Meard Street in Soho, at the electronic night called Electric Dreams, on Monday October 18th 1999. It wasn’t my first ever live show though... I started playing my songs at gigs in 1992, but not under the name Mechanical Cabaret, we were called Dekolette Erotika. My first Mechanical Cabaret gig was great fun, one of my favourites in fact. Shame Gossips turned into a posh wanky-type bar, but at least Electric Dreams are still going strong!
Is this your first Club Antichrist experience?
No, I went before, a few times. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone being saucy and having a right old time of it in general.
What's the first song on the setlist for June?
Right now it’s GBH, but this could change!
What was the first album you bought and how has it influenced you and your music?
I mainly bought singles when I first started buying music, until the first album I ever bought which was a Chart compilation called Chart Trek in 1983. It had Fad Gadget on it, Depeche Mode, Blancmange, and Roland Rat - all major influences on me, especially Fad Gadget and DM. The first album I had by a band was Speak and Spell by Depeche Mode, given to me by Jason Rowles at school, on tape. The melodies, drum/percussion sounds, synths, and Dave’s voice on that album are just fantastic.
What's the first step in the creative process?
It can be anything at all. There is often no perceivable first ‘step’ taken; you can find yourself in the midst of ‘creating’ something as if by magic, coincidence, fate, accident or whatever chance occurrence you care to mention. That said, I suppose you could say ‘the inspiration’ might be the very first step to creating one thing or another, as without that ingredient, I guess things might not be created so very often by so many people!
When did you first realise you wanted to make music and what made you realise?
Hearing Kraftwerk on the radio, the weird sounds on Dr WHO, seeing Sex Pistols, Adam Ant and Gary Numan on telly in the 70s, and loving Depeche Mode in the early 80s, were the main reasons I wanted to do music - in that order.
Who did your first remix and is there anyone you'd really like to work with still?
The first remix anyone did of Mechanical Cabaret was a brilliant remix of Nothing Special that Martin Katscan made, but that didn’t get released as he used loads of samples from Withnail & I in it, and I can’t afford to pay the sample copyright clearance costs! The first actually released remix of Mechanical Cabaret was by Mesh, with their ASBO Mix of Disbehave in 2006. I’d be interested in working with the Radiophonic Workshop team, Vince Clarke, Alan Wilder, Daniel Miller, Ralf Hutter, Florian Schneider, and John Lydon.
Who would be your first choice to perform on the same stage as?
John Lydon.
What's the first thing you think when you walk on/off stage?
I’m too busy doing it to think about it really, at either of those times. I’m in ‘performance mode’ for at least an hour before, as well as during, and also after a gig. I’m wondering what I can do next I imagine, as I like to feed off the energy of the audience and people around me, improvise things, and react to the situation I’m in without too much of a set agenda.
What do you hope people's first impressions of Mechanical Cabaret are?
I have no specific hopes in this regard. The natural chaos and order of things means that whether people like us or otherwise, it all works out just fine in the end anyway. Obviously, though, we prefer it if they DO like us and find us entertaining, and therefore want to buy our records and maybe entertain US somehow too!
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Mechanical Cabaret will be performing at the next Club Antichrist, Friday 24 June. To find out more information about the band, including tour dates and to buy the CD, Disco Vandalism, check out the links below.
Mechanical Cabaret website
www.mechanicalcabaret.com
Mechanical Cabaret on Facebook
www.facebook.com/pages/Mechanical-Cabaret/185185014621?ref=ts
Roi on Twitter
twitter.com/mCabaret
Fetish Club Virgin – A guide to your first time
Everyone has to start somewhere and there’s always going to be that first venture out to a fetish club. This feature aims to give you some ideas of what to expect, how to behave and what to wear so that your first foray into this exciting world goes as smoothly as possible and you don’t get any nasty surprises.
- Be polite – it seems a simple one but people often forget that the other people in the club are human beings and deserve this common courtesy.
- If you want to watch a scene, be discrete about it. Some clubs have a viewing area, others you will have to use your common sense. If you can do so without interrupting the scene, ask if it’s ok with the people playing.
- Do not crowd the scene and stand too close
- Do not join in without permission
- Do not interrupt the people playing to ask questions
- Do not touch yourself inappropriately
- Do not touch someone else without consent
- Don't approach people just after they seem to have ended a scene. People need time to readjust to the real world and interruptions at this point are a real no no. Good players will involve some level of mental and physical aftercare at the end of a scene and outsiders are not helpful during this.
- If you’re feeling brave enough to play, be respectful of the equipment
- If you want to play with someone, ask politely and don’t get upset/angry/arsey if someone declines.
- If someone asks you to play, don’t feel obliged if you’re not interested and politely say no. If you do want to, play safely, sanely and consensually
- It is ok to talk to people, just pick the moment. If they’re obviously busy, don’t interrupt them.
- Overall, clubs are fun places to be and you won’t experience anything too untoward but, unfortunately, it does happen occasionally. Generally though, security and those running events are wonderfully helpful if you do have problems.
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